Childhood in the Digital Age

It is one of most fundamental and critical thought everyone does have in their mind because everyone has either passed thought childhood age or living with children directly or indirectly.

Childhood in contemporary modern world is so different than previous at least 2-3 generations. Both generations are living in different worlds and it is more primary responsibility of previous generation to understand next generation because they are in developmental stage where every day and months new digital devices and technologies are in operations in every other week. Unlikely current and new generation have less comparatively awareness about development of technology. What I mean that a child at age 8-10 who is using iPad Pro may does not have information that only ten years before there was not any thing such as Tablet or iPad or Kindle fire exist.

In this scenario parents have greater responsibility to get knowledge of how far they are or how are they right when they have conflict with their kids in using and handling digital devices , called gadgets or on Game console etc.

It is important to know that generally age between 3 to 14 years considered as childhood and digital technology means all PCs, smartphones including iPhones and Samsung etc., DVDs, Texting, Camera, Social Media networking and Games etc.

From studies and observation it looks that children development milestones in key core areas of life such as language, cognition, Psyche-motor domain, Social or emotional intelligences , have been either misunderstood or children are lack behind on these milestones. Speech problems, aggression, lonely, suicidal thoughts, biasness, laziness and unethical attitude are outcomes of technology and it is because of something else. That we will discuss in next paragraphs here.

In this light, we need to address following few key questions related to children in connection with using modern technology and Devices:

  1. How digital technology influences the acquisition of these important skills?
  2. Does technology hinder children’s Physical, Social and cognitive development, or does it provide exciting opportunities for learning new abilities?
  3. What makes digital technology so compelling and motivating?
  4. And are we raising a new generation of children for whom technology is as natural as breathing?

    What do you think?
    Share your thoughts in the comments.

 

 

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6 steps to plan your year 2015 great

To plan a year is the best and ideal action for successful individual. These productive leaders design their mission and goals of life. It leads to some big milestones of their life. It is directly proportional to personal effectiveness, improving relationships, increasing wealth, achieving dreams and spiritual gratification. We can achieve these milestones in different but steady years of our life. It can be further divided into single many years achievement. There is good news for you that today is extremely best time and offering you superb opportunity for plan your year. Since year 2015 is at your hand and you are excited, thrilled and passionate about it so you can consider this year as unit-success to achieve your all milestones.

Now question is how you can make this year 2015 more productive with effectiveness that you require to maintain. Certainly it needs following five ingredients:

Goals, tasks, Calendar, mission, values, roles, year 2015, Time Management
Goals, tasks, Calendar, mission, values, roles, year 2015, Time Management
  • Mission, purpose and set of goals
  • Personal Motivation
  • Time Management skills
  • Planning tools (Paper or digital)
  • Sharpen the Saw

If you have not yet started to plan your year you must realize that this is the finest time for you. I would say because if you delay or postpone this vital yearly planning time, your next days and weeks can distract your attention and de-motivated you and you will be in state of motionlessness or on path of mediocrity. I strongly suggest you to take charge of your life right now.
Bottom line of this post is,

“Think seriously, write professionally and act with free independent will to achieve your mission, goals and tasks for year 2015”.
Here I will help you that how you can design your own year 2015. You are just few steps away to create your future.

Please follow six easy steps:

STEP 1: First find your favorite time, place and environment where you feel really peace, calmness and privacy. For example some people find early morning or late night or at library or Gardens or far from city etc.

STEP 2: Secondly, Imagine and mediate yourself about in future by closing your eyes when you would be celebrating your 80th birthday. Imagine about those key people such as family, friends and work associates would be around you. Suppose If they were given one piece of paper with pen and ask them to write about you that how did they would have found you in their life. Just think what sort of appreciations, characteristics and values they would be describing & writing on paper on this most important 80th birthday of your life. What things, events and greatness they would be amalgamating with you. Jot down each and every coming thoughts in your mind. This is will enable you to compile draft list of various points related to different dimensions of your life and it could be your relationships, humanistic universal values and feelings. It is really important and special.

STEP 3: Now read paper again and again, divide all written things, sentences, feelings and voices into Values, Roles and Goals.

Please remember that Values are those moral words with feelings such as integrity, humility, punctual, confidence, balance, maturity, vision, passion, trustworthy, hard-work, agility, organize, adaptability, thoughtful etc.

Roles are your key relationships and social positions, for example As Manager, Teacher, Volunteer, Accountant, Assistant, Father, Mother and Community worker etc.

And Goals are interconnected with your thoroughly life practical achievements with help of your values in certain roles. For example, one possible your goal for an effective Administrative Manager could be: “I will be reshaping some of vital administrative work of my department in my company by relocation data and files of thousands of customers on paper to digital document drive till 31st Dec 2015”.

Being business leader, CEO or entrepreneur your wild goal could be:  “to generate revenue of one million pounds by using dynamic electronic marketing tools at end of Dec 2015”.

As community worker: “I would be assisting my supervisor in doing at least feedback surveys with our 5000 active club members for improving customer services throughout year 2015”.

STEP 4: Keep revising and composing above goals, roles and values (prepared in step 3) every day for at least 1-2 weeks. Make sure you add or remove contents until it become homogeneous. You can insert images in the content to make inspiring and attractive presentation for yourself. Make realistic and achievable goals. Think concretely and straightforwardly toward your goals to achieve it. Make even short terms as many goals which lead toward big goal or life event or accomplishment.

STEP 5: Ideally you should also hire a Personal Coach for achieving your goals. Qualified and experience Coach in specific niches will inspire your energies, unleash your hidden potential, will be proven as greatest source of motivation in achieving your life goals for any role. Hold at least 2-4 coaching sessions with your coach on-line or on-site and share your vision, goals for next year 2015. Work on it. Take the inspiration from your Coach in finding more best available methods to achieve your goals. How to maintain the discipline is your one of challenge.

STEP 6:
Lastly, set a personal reward system for your achievement either weekly or monthly achievement. Involve yourself in some fun, party, great dinner on intimacy, once you achieve something important. It will help you more to stay connected with your goals and vision.

In following above step 2, during designing your goals you can keep four vital dimension of your life. i.e. Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit. You must craft your goals in alignment of your needs of physical fitness, emotional management, passion of life and conscience endeavors. It will lead you to spend whole year with balance and enjoyment.

For example Goals related to your physical needs could be; loss weight or maintaining fitness with choosing wise nutrition and commitment of not for bad eating.

Goals related to mental growth can be such as reading or writing valuable book, getting admission in short or long diplomas or degree for doing systematic education and learning.

Improving relationship goals such as with spouse, partner, Boss, co-workers are so important and vital for your life happiness. Make these goals and do not feel isolate. Because losing quality of relationships or break-up can lead for seriously life failure. So enrich your relationships with genuine emotional attachment.

and finally spiritual intelligence can emphasize you to make goals those are attached with sacred causes or divine literature or holy modern or traditional personalities watering your wisdom and increasing your sense of differentiate between right and wrongs and help in awakening and maturing your conscience.

Remember, failure in focusing and designing goals of your real needs of your body, mind, heart and spirit in Year 2015 will result in imbalance and can lead to path of mediocrity or some time uncertainty and demoralization. Remember key is balance that will precede you toward growth and adapt constant change through time of year till 31 Dec 2015 until these goals will connect with your next year 2016 goals and next until all years achievements will become parts of whole life mission.

If you are really interested, I can offer you 45-60 minutes coaching session on Skype or one-one in London. Please send me your interest on maratib@maratibalishad.com

Feeling your genuine smile!

Good luck for your year 2015!!!

A child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life?

In today’s domains of management gurus, psychology experts and biologists scientists are choosing their preferences from very interesting discussion that how much important nature or nurture in the success of an individual or there is other reality as well? In addition, how much important is actually, the age of childhood in shaping one’s life.
I think this is very fundamental question comes in the mind. Many theories and interpretations have been discussed in academia and in leadership development training institutes.
Is it really genetic or environmental or psychic causes or there is another fact beyond it? Sometime people become so determinist and sometime optimistic. On the other hand God has sent down man to contribute and live to leave legacy, how much this believe is so powerful or thoughtful.
My Purpose is to explore to see different point of views and at the end we can find some comprehensive outcomes.

Nurture or Nature
Nurture or Nature

Last week, I put this discussion on Facebook and LinkedIn and asked many people and experts on different networks on internet. I found various responses and different perspective for this great quest.
Let me tell you first what question was asked.
Here It is:

Question: What are your thoughts on this:
Freudian psychology which postulates that whatever happens to you as a child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life. The limits and parameters of your life are set, and , basically , you can’t do much about it”.

( Extracted from book “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People” by Dr. Stephen R. Covey, p-69,1989)

I am sharing here those and some valuable opinions and answers of people which they shared with me on social networks. It will give us broader view from different minds about this very subject. I am copying them here as it and we will continue this discussion until we reach on greatest conclusion.

“I believe it’s true our up bringing does shape us but I also believe people can change their character & personality. I’m a living example my character changed! No one life goes without difficulty that they can’t blame. When people blame they give up their power to change”.

“There is shaping, but it isn’t set in stone. How you choose to respond to what was done in your youth and how you were shaped… your response is totally up to you. Some choose to respond with ” This is how I am.” Others choose to respond with “How can I overcome? How can I be more in spite of what was and currently is?” Mind is our servant and will work with whatever we give it. In the first choice, mind is given a command to continue affirming what is. In the second choice, mind is given a quest, command of transformation. Mind works to fulfill what we give”.

Robert responds to my question like this:

“What you say sounds good, and I believe choice plays a role shaping one’s life. As much as I respect the work of the late Stephen Covey, my experience informs me that many psychological problems and disorders related to childhood can’t be healed through choice. If I understand your response correctly the complex field of psychology can be reduced to one theory of choice?
Faced with many challenging executive coaching assignments over several decades has prompted me to forge collaborative working relationships with talented psychotherapists who are skilled at addressing the unconscious issues while my work stays on the organizational/conscious side of the boundary where I’m trained. In such cases the client is asked to grant permission for us to work as a team in support of shared outcomes”.

One posting from Leon says here:
Dear Maratib:
First of all Freud never said that the “The limits and parameters of your life are set, and , basically , you can’t do much about it”. That’s what psychoanalysis is all about, a way to deal with the things in your past to improve your present condition.
Now in regards to the choice factor, I agree with Robert. Human behavior is a very complex construct that can not be altered just by the simple exercise of personal choice, there are external and internal aspects that affect the process of changing ones life, for instance, paradigms, resources, knowledge, support systems, even protein intake. Now having said that, I do agree we can change our condition and improve it for good, as far as some of all the factors of this equation align to produce the desired change.
Finally, Dr. Covey (a founder of my Master’s Program) didn’t have it all right, or at least scientifically supported.

In light of above two responses of Leon and Robert I replied as:
Robert and Leon, What i have understood from you valuable thoughts that there are many complexities within brain, psychological and biological which cannot fit to the theory of power of choice as Dr. Stephen’s whole work’s philosophy originates i believe. right?
If so than my response would be:
I think that power of choice is relevant to those emerging individuals and minds who are living or want to live/grow/contribute in their personal and outer world. Weak or mentally ill or distorted childhood brain with physically damaged, cannot make choices because of their limitations and illness. They should consult with therapists, counselors and medical doctors. Because the whole idea of chose and success literature is for dynamic individual who are not depend on at least any major illness or such psychological complexities as you are mentioning.
To practice choices are functions and habits of leaders only.

some other responses are shown as below:

“i m supporter of frued psychoanalytical theory , because early experiences really play large role in personality development and continue to influence behavior later in life. But if we talk about change yes we change but it is purely an individual effort and very less of us could manage to do so”.

“Stays in subconscious for most part which does control majority of our unconscious behavior and habitual patterns and reactions. Once one becomes aware, and thru working with a coach like us, they can choose to change, transform, transmute, transcend and evolve negative thoughts beliefs patterns behavior and be best version of themselves as they allow it and take action towards it”.
Between stimulus & response there is space
“Stephen Covey wold disagree (and I could be wrong but he preferred Jung). He acknowledged that upbringing powerfully influences your character and personality but ultimately you, as a human, have the choice to do and be otherwise”.

“I don’k know how to represent either one of these two gentlemen, but from my own course of life I strongly disagree. I am much different than I was years ago, stronger, overcam many obstacles, and transformed my life several times through changing jbaits, coaching, etc. Unless THAT, too, was predetermined, which I very seriously doubt”.

I believe it does, but other things that happen later on do change people. Maturity and growth are a big factor. I know I had a habit from childhood, and it was associated with events and stress, I did feel powerless and I almost gave it to the feeling but no, I’m stronger than that come on, anyone can redesign what they believed in when they were young. Everyday we have choices and let’s hope we choose well. I needed and was a puppy that wanted to be loved by everyone, I learnt that not everyone loves you, and it’s better to change that really quickly otherwise one gets hurt. So to an extend, we are the way we are but let’s not accept all of it. Keep an open mind.

I believe it helps shape our character and personality but does not have to define us. We all have the ability to make choices in our lives and change the direction if we want to.

Interesting thought, but I cannot agree. We decide every day, with our options at hand, what kind of life we wish to create for ourselves. It’s the habits we develop, and the daily decisions we make taking into account the personal mission statement we have designed, that create the future we determine. I truly believe that life should be lived “looking forward”.

I agree with most, we make choices every day that decide our fate. I’ve seen a peer that had an unfortunate childhood become a veterinarian and another who had a great childhood end up working the 2nd shift in the light bulb factory. However, I believe it easier for some due to a more positive environment growing up. Thanks!

We as humans have learned to re-invent ourselves and manage our emotions. We can’t always control our hot button’s created during childhood, though we can manage how we react to them when pushed. This is habit 1.

“I’m a believer that we have choice. Once you see that the young you didn’t have the depth of awareness needed to split the event from your version of the event, you can reframe the past and therefor set your future”.

“Sorry i Disagree – it is your mindset that changes every thing around you. It is your attitude towards life that determines your altitude.
“If you think you can or you cannot – in both cases you are right”

 

“I believe that your personality is shaped when you are young and due to your upbringing you may be timid, shy, confident etc. But as an adult you have the choice and now the information to be able to change any character flaws that you developed in childhoods”.

“I believe that the experiences you have as a child play a big part in self defining tracks that play in my mind.
Habits and triggers are formed from repeated experiences which almost create a rut in your brain; when X happens to me, I turn right and take this path of reaction. It takes a lot of work to grab the wheel and choose to steer down a different path however it can be done.
The wonder of human existence is having free will and the ability to learn, grow and change. Alvin Toffler said “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn”. This quote was not meant to reflect human character and personality, however I still believe it applies. We can learn new ways to respond to stimuli and choose new ways to react.
Your childhood is where you start and none of them are idealistic. What you choose to do next is up to you”.

“Freud stimulated ideas from his stimulated thinking as he sought stimulation. The pleasure principle is instinctively and emotionally driven and is at the bedrock of human development. There seems to more that might govern one’s life than the areas Freud was concentrating on”.

“Maratib, to me Freud stood somehwere at the beginning of public Western opinions on psycology, meaning he started a discussion which had been neglected for thousend of years, in western cultures that is.
Thousends of years ago people already learned about human behavior and pretty more nuanced than Freud ever described it.
Yes as long as you are able to maintain your sense of innocence and creativity you evolve and enrich your self-and people knowledgde. And yes for most the first years are the most impressionable, assuming your creativity and sense of innocence slowly get depressed and replaced by rationals through “socialisation”and education.
Still once you reached some level of maturity your tend to go out and seek to get back to the state of mind and freedom you once had?
Are they therefore all set and not to be influenced? no way, to easy.
There are loads of cultural influences, preferences, personal competencies, genetic imprint and basic instinctive behaviors to consider.
I agree that whatever you experience early on during impressionable years will influence you and affect the way you percieve and experience life to be, yet not set it, certainly not that you cannot do anything about it.
I find that to be the poorest excuse, you might not be ale to completly change and do a 180 on certain topics and behaviors, but you can and should evolve if only to cope with the only constant being change itself.
have fun”.

“See my animation about eg Freud : http://youtu.be/H0PsxiioTDw

“Maratib, interesting question. As you mentioned, this has been a key Philosophical question for sometime. We have come to find out as time moves forward that many views presented as fact by well-known philosophers, have been dis-proven or modified to accommodate a better understanding of what is known to be true today. Earth is flat, Sun revolves around the Earth, Dark Matter and other moving targets. Events that happen to us as we grow up definitely influence who we are as individuals and as cultural societies. Typically, the individual is presented with the event and decides if they will react to that event. I do not subscribe to the believe that individuals can’t do much about how they allow it to influence them. It’s up to each of us to choose our own vehicle that takes us forward from that event to the next step in our lives. Some my select anger, others may choose compassion and some may select understanding”.

“For the most part, behavior is set by the age of six. No one knows the percentage contributed by genetics and by environment, but both matter. Can people change? Sure, but usually as a result of a significant emotional event (divorce, death of a loved one, etc). Otherwise, what you see at six is what you get at sixty. Are people prisoners to their behaviors? Yes, unless they use a model like DISC (or something similar) to learn the strengths and limitations of their behavior style. Once learned, salespeople can use their intelligence instead of their emotions (their “emotional intelligence”) to improve their interactions with their clients”.

“It is a bit short-sighted…throughout our life, different events, actions, choices, etc would bring rational or irrational fears in our lives; with which, we have to deal with, thus, we would get shaped (character, emotions, skills, thoughts,…). I see it as a never ending cycle until our last breath. Surely…childhood experiences strongly shape our future self, but indefinitely. Imagine, if someone gets bullied most of his/her childhood. How strong that individual must become to overcome its fears and come out as a better person!? Even more importantly, how long would it take to change one’s perception”?

“It has been a Long mind/thought War beetween Behavioural psicology and The traditional Freudian one. And more contributions have been added by Lacan and Eric Berne and some recent studies from Winnicot. It’ a fact our first 5-6 years personal events strongly influence our beliefs and way of thinking and living emotions; this do not automatically Mean the human being as to be An unmouldable set of cause-reaction mosaic. The innest “machine” in some Way work for ever in The same Way But it’ a possible effort to adapt and change the Way each single individual live everyday actions and emotions. Why can different individuals pass through the same disruptive events surviving Them or being injuried for all the Life Long? Here stand the great trasformation Power given to any human being to learn How to manage herself/himself starting by a Long and honest inside job. If you know the “Inner machine” working everyday in any of your action and thought you have a great power to influence and chance your life; in a different Way I would say as to be almost impossible or a lottery ticket Win !“.

“Hello Maratib, having spent two years studying the irrational, covert and unconscious side of organisational life at an esteemed psycholanalytic institute in NYC it is my opinion that our childhood experience (the subconscious as a tape recorder) plays a significant role in how we view and interact in the adult world. I also believe with the proper support we as human beings can grow beyond the “projected” beliefs and limitations (head trash) we “introjected” as defenseless child”.

In the light of above opinion, I personally believe that It is human choice to make him greater and different beyond past, race, colour, language, region and social setup. This is called dignity of human. You have power to choose your own response any time beyond genetic, environmental and biological reasons. Today, most of dynamic individuals have not even normal childhood but since they have choose to take control on their life, they are unique, star and role models for millions other. It is unique spiritual voice which anyone can be aware of and start to follow it, no matter, what kind of worse current or past circumstances are. Dr. Stephen’s principle of Personal Vision i.e. Be proactive, basically teaches that charge your life at any moment beyond any pressure and leave your legacy.

He put this fact in his famous book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness:

“We are a product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice, because there is always space between stimulus and response”.

Covey also points out it by saying that “I am what I am” and “I am where I am because I so choose to be there”

Leadership and Management Trainings – an Effective Paradigm

Preface – Is the business leadership subject of Management or it is covering all roles of life of an individual. Are we enough able to develop engaged and committed employees? Or do we see ourselves as great carer or parent? Are we enough self-aware that we are directly or indirectly connected with our cultural and social roots and at the same time we are making significant contribution to our organisation, family, society and the world?

Great author Dr. Stephen R. Covey says;

“I don’t define leadership as becoming CEO. A CEO is no more likely to be a leader than anymore else. I am talking about leading own life, being a leader among your friends, being a leader in your own family”.

These are very important and contemporary questions for contemporary and demanding minds. We are missing definite certain principle based believes-set that would modify our Industrial mind to information or knowledge worker age and it would prepare us against those societal forces, out of which we can choose to respond. We are product our generation-to-generation transferred attitude or we have our own wisdom of freedom to do or meditate against historical standards. I am victim of this lifestyle or thinking pattern because my parents & my family have been nurturing with this environment or we have our own voice that can create great relationships and humanitarian events.

Leadership and management Trainings by Maratib Ali Shad
Leadership and Management Trainings by Maratib Ali Shad

Basically, leadership explain and provide us a new mind-set which provide us a unique paradigm of abundance mentality and freedom to choose our response. We need to cope all modern challenges of life, job, business and rapidly changing societal trends.

Dr. Stephen says,

“The problem of leadership today is that managers are still applying the Industrial Age control model to knowledge workers. They fail to tap into the highest motivations, talents, and genius of their people”.

Inspiring author and Leadership authority, Dr. Stephen R. Covey believes that every human is a unique combination of body, mind, heart and spirit. Each person on this earth has different needs of their living conditions, versatile talent of diverse taste, emotional attachments with natural and unlike things, roles and great voice of spiritual intelligence which guide the person throughout his life. This is so dynamic and great paradigm of human dignity.

Our almost every child and adult are studying in schools and university. But we need to think that did we provide them opportunities to learn effectively foundations of spiritual, moral, cultural and social needs. We have developed lot of engineering miracles and multi-million institutions but our students are lack of understanding of all human needs in reality. Our popular life style has born a generation where we read news; 66% Americans are either overweight or have obesity and similar data we have in other part of the world. Every person is under pressure of unwanted things. They are in pain but they have to live with it. We are building thousands of physical fitness gym, however, side by it, we have less number of leadership development institutions where we can develop such humans who can maintain their body fitness, learn to flourish, passion for excellence and live by conscience in every moment of life.

In this knowledge worker age, people are unable to keep balance in their different roles of life. For example, a productive employee could be very smart Manager to create multi-million dollars ideas to his organisation but that employee could not maintain great relation with their spouse. It could be a worse relationship setback!! They are not even proven caring parent or guardian. Likewise, business or technical professionals could have very unique mental approach for becoming successful entrepreneur or highly skilled worker but they are unable to understand their child’s needs. We need to build leaders to cope it. Dr. Stephen R. Covey said;

“When parents see their children’s problems as opportunities to build the relationship instead of as negative, burdensome irritations, it totally changes the nature of parent-child interaction. When a child comes to them with a problem, instead of thinking, “Oh, no! Not another problem!” their paradigm is, “Here is a great opportunity for me to really help my child and to invest in our leadership.”

This is indeed a great leadership paradigm.

Troubled life is also result of heedlessness of Time Management Principles, to do list is not sufficient and was an old method. Now this age demands new approach and new tool sets of keeping balance all tasks for all roles of life which we choose to plan and do proactive. Furthermore, we need to split our years and months into weeks and days, for all individual roles, based on urgencies and importance factor. Dr. Covey said, once;

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” (Leadership Paradigm)

A smart business one may have extra substantial possessions but he or she could lack of meaning of life. They are not able to know about purpose of their life and give the ultimate inner satisfaction for their daily works why they should do it. This philosophical approach of thinking is as vital as earning money or other important work. They may need to study sacred literature or have certain links which indoctrinate them for religious or spiritual faiths which can give them direction of life and accountability as they would need.

As “Accountability breeds response-ability.”

On the other hand, Leaders are also so rich people with certain mind-set who can keep balance in their life, you know why? Because they have found their voice of their personal and professional realms and now they inspire other to find their voices and it will inspires millions.

Hence, Professor Stephen R. Covey define Leadership as

“Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves.”

So leadership is real need of today whatever you have the role of your life.

Leaders tend to be trustworthiness along with their competencies. Professional competencies demands new skills, new tool set and unique paradigm under character groom itself.

Character building is a great challenge of today’s world. Failure as personal or professional roles is in result of character weaknesses and our schools and society have been failed to make a trustworthy person. It effect, often, the personal relationships especially with friends and spouses and also in business environment when Manager or CEO involve in affairs and corruption scandals.

“90 percent of all leadership failures are character failures”.

Basically, character is composition of integrity, maturity and abundance mentality whereas competence build through technical knowledge of certain field or industry, conceptual understanding of things and ideas and how to become interdependent to achieve business or work goals. When character meets with competency, wisdom born. Leader than live by wisdom, act under humility and do by courage.

Leaders believe in synergistic team work where 1+1 is not 2 but 11 or more. Where teams in factory unit, offices and homes earn fruits of synergy every moment. They reinforce strengths and ignore the weaknesses of each other. If people have conflicts at work, home and in politics, leaders transform the issues the 3rd alternative solution which is a higher way out of solution provided by each party. Like Dr. Stephen Said,

“Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy the mental, the emotional, the psychological difference between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it, but as they are.”

Today, most of employee are disengaged with organisational priorities. Involvement of employee can be make sure only by directly emotional attachment with core purpose of the project or organisation. Clearly communicated mission and its derived goals are indispensable for happier workers.

No involvement no commitment!

All principle-centred leaders believe in run their roles of life based on mission statement. Their personal mission are integrated with their professional job roles, family and relationships. Goals, weekly and daily tasks are their water under they live. They use modern technology for keeping their Time Management and priorities but do not indulge in it. They are self-manager and carry powerful life driven character oriented values like integrity, trust, humility, trust worthiness, dignity, optimism, synergy and stewardship. They lead their own life with interdependence style of amalgamation of Vision, Discipline, Passion and Conscience.

This world is turning into intense customer oriented. Every individual and organisation are somewhere are customers of each other. Therefore we need to build a mind-set where this customer oriented market can be satisfied and service must be essence of all passion and spirit.

Like Nathan Eldon said once, “Service is the rent we pay for living in this world of ours”.

Leaders have vision of deep thinking and philosophical foundation the way they perceive the world. They believe in people, watch dreams, have idealistic approach, aware of reality, really helpful for everyone and have capacity to think outside the box. Consequently, they are creative and mature enough to achieve their desired life.

Leaders maintain self-discipline because they believe in natural principles and see synergy everywhere in nature. They know that they need to focus on their mission and goals, constantly, independently through continues hard work and competent values with decisive nature. They executive in their business action plan with realistic and achievable approach.

Also, leaders are passionate about what they do, fearlessly. They are enough sensitive to accept every challenge of their life role, self-motivating and have immense courage to launch personal and business initiatives.

Keeping their vision, discipline and passion, leaders also need a lens through which they can accountable itself. They have great sense of right and wrong which burn them from their inside and they listen inner friend’s voice of their conscience, it always push or pull them in every moment of their life whenever they need of it. This little whispering is called conscience and govern all other three component of the whole-person i.e. physical, mental and emotional or social intelligences within a leader.

If an individual could really believe on these intelligences, along with whole roadmap to live on path of greatness, and find his own voice then it can discover a leader inside you, no matter what age level you are.

Dr. Stephen R. Covey says,

“We are a product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice”.

And that’s Leadership.

So we need to certain training programs that can build minds of our employees, parents, scientists and professionals who can cope and feel difference in this age of complexity and next age of wisdom. These trainings can have spirit to transformation the lives many individuals who can become source of inspiration of thousands of others and then this light spreads on.

Today multi-million industries and brand companies are investing billion pounds to educate on their employees development so that they can be engaged with purpose and operations of the organisation. Government and private organisations are focusing that how they can develop and transform minds of their workers to meet knowledge worker age economy needs and be cradle of inspiration for next business generation.

I believe that leadership developmental programs are voice of this age and is necessary part of every academia, on top. Individuals are getting blessed by virtue of this new mind-set and learn new skill-set to cope every challenge of new time.

Today, core academic discipline like Business Management has comprehended importance of education of Leadership development to graduates and professionals. Thousands of universities and colleges are announcing hundreds of courses, trainings, seminars and certifications for Leadership growth. Multinational organisation and cooperate world need diversity and vision in their management mentors and workforces to be succeeded their business master plans and financial goals. They are in great need of certain mind-set which can renovate their management into truly and dynamic business leaders.

I have shown you a very quick view of importance of leadership development in business, personal and social roles. There are many other dimensions as awakening calls for Managers and emerging individuals who can train themselves with change of successful paradigm that is need of today and we must need to abolish old successful way of thinking pattern because remember;

“ Nothing fails like success”.

Trainings based on leadership improvement packages and individual effectiveness are in fact fundamental function of today business and innovative world. Emerging enterprises and social organisations need networking and transparency in actions of which they want to achieve their collective dreams. Employees of the organisation want to work in healthy environment where they can fulfil their needs of personal and family economics, learn new skills and unleash their potential, emotionally connected with cause of the organisation with synergistic spirit and with definite accountable inner which whisper them either they are doing right and wrong.

“You cannot change the fruit without changing the root”.

Leadership and Management Trainings – an Effective Paradigm – By Maratib Ali Shad – London

Nurturing and Childhood experiences

Childhood experiences starts right from mother’s wombs. Environmental, psychological, social and sentimental effects on mother directly transfer to the baby and store in genes or unopened- memory spaces of mind.

A child rapidly absorbs surroundings till 3-4 years of age. These all negative or positive stored-emotions COME OUT OR EXPRESS in form of good or bad behaviour, later, in any stage of man or woman’s life, usually 20-40 years.

Studies also shows that professional failure or success or any life conscious decisions are also influenced (badly or good) by those childhood unconscious experiences.

Therefore, nurturing and childhood even before delivery, is extremely important for children and hence for whole family and then society.

childhood is so important

Paradigms are so powerful for change – Lets work it.

I often think about different behaviors of people in identical situations and I could never understand until I went through Human behavioral lessons from Prof. Stephen R. Covey. Basically, all people do behave in SEE-DO-GET pattern, it means what people get depend on what they do and what they do depends on how they see the world. That very ‘see’ describes people mental images inside mind covered by brain and are called ‘Paradigms’, intentionally, I discover causes of people

Paradigms are so powerful to change, title image.
Paradigms are so powerful to change, title image.

doing different things in same situations. Every individual behaves and think because of their paradigms, what the meanings this person has defined in their mind. Usually, paradigms are build from childhood and throughout the conscious life. Greater the degree of maturity inside the brain of a person to understand the events and people behaviors, mature and reality based paradigms will be. I am not teaching you psychology lessons but only general understanding which will help you reshape your personal and professional life if you are looking for any turn or solution or break through. People perform actions(play roles) at home , office and in society, all depends on what and which thinking patterns they have in their minds within which they associate good or bad meanings and it all makes their personality. For example, if a newly hired employee could have meanings in the mind about supervisor as typical ‘Boss’ who orders and never listen ‘No’ from subordinates, then it might make employee insecure and suppressed. Because of past bad experiences or negative images about a ‘boss’ usually come from media or society throughout life, hence this thinking pattern will always stay walls between boss and that very employee.  These walls can never be laid down unless employees start to work on their paradigms. In same manner, when supervisors treat their employees as machines and never allow to think and use their own initiative will and give freedom to them, Boss has also wrong paradigms about their assistants or secretaries or subordinates. Because higher position holders in an organization may think that what employee are nothing just ‘a body to follow, obey and act’. It’s very traditional attitude and belongs to earlier Industrial mind-set. So a typical wall, between not only boss and employee but also all people, would become bigger and distant. Dr. Stephen R. Covey says in his book The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness:

“If you want to make minor, incremental changes and improvements, work on practices, behavior or attitude. But if you want to make significant, quantum improvement, work on paradigms.”

In perspective of teachings of Dr. Stephen R. Covey, this current information or knowledge worker age have brought the new set of paradigms and tool-sets to get real success.  Because the old pattern of thinking has been replaced with new paradigms. earlier, a boss used to perceive any change in work or function as ‘problem’ but a leadership-style of paradigm does not see any change as the problem but only ‘opportunities’ to exercise creative energy and solution of many other unseen problems.

Throughout the history of mankind’s technology and ideas, old technological things and ideas were always replaced by new meanings and interpretations of phenomenal of events, things, and people. New knowledge(s) and sciences are emerging just because of change of thinking(s), perceptions and paradigms.

Einstein once told:

“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

Childhood experiences, misguidance, immaturity, and illiteracy are among main causes to have weak, unclear and wrong paradigms. We need to understand what we have experience in our personal and professional life, are just our own experience(s) which may be wrongly perceived and misconceived. Anyways, people still rely on their very thoughts. They do not even try to measure and evaluate it. People think that their ideas and definitions about people, things and events are very right and ‘do not try to disturb it’, excuse me! They assume it as their superiority over others. The culture of ego and arrogance may be active. Now question is that how people can know about the correctness of their paradigms. It is so difficult for people to identify and work on it, due to many mental and societal forces. However, I believe if people start to believe in ‘power of principles and natural laws’; that is the whole universe is governed by certain principles and laws and never things can happen beyond it, afterward people will try to guide their spirit and mind accurately, I believe. For example, to get money and material things are the real source of satisfaction and an individual’s social needs, are very common paradigms of people and they associate their happiness with it. But on the other hand, if we evaluate this notion of the principle of love and real meanings of life than this assumption of getting materials seems very weak and immature. Because true love and great ever-lasting inner satisfaction can only be achieved with unconditional love and attainment of material for the spirit of contribution and virtues only.

In multicultural places, people fight over racial and linguistics issues, and these are also mental images which they have about each other. Black man looks at the white man with prejudice because a black man may perceive them as arrogant. In opposite, a white man considers a black man as dirty, ill-mannered and ill-literate. When this attitude is multiplied by many people, community conflicts occur and so on. Similarly, an English man, sometimes, does not respect a Dutch because of ‘Nazis’ and German blame English because of their imperial colonialist approach and it goes on. I think that all world’s issues of differences get worse because of flaws in paradigms which they have associated with each other. It is true that all white, and black skin colors are not mattered of superiority but their strengths. Similarly, languages should not be the source of superiority but only their unique means of communication. I strongly believe that educator and researcher need to publish stuff for their nation in formally and informally about those wrong attitudes which transfer generation to generation is the result of inheriting paradigms.

People who drive their lives with positive thinking do construct their mental images with principles, systematic academic research, studies and reviewing sacred literature. We observe a number of people have the vision, passionate, disciplined in their physical life and with the conscience have always been proved quality thoughts and creative actions because there they have now sense to think and work accordingly and they have also the power to do against social mirrors. It is their constructed paradigms who fuel them enough to reject the path of mediocrity. Whereas principle based rightly guided paradigms leads leaders to the path of greatness. It is need of age. We need to self-determined our paradigms and throw away all prejudices and uncorrected patterns of thinking, the reason why a man is not the product of past, any racial agenda or genetic disease.

 

Stephen R Covey – Biography

Dr Stephen R   born in 1932. He lives with his wife, Sandra, and their family in Utah; in the Rocky Mountains. Covey achieved international acclaim, and is perhaps best known, for his self-help book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. which was first published by Simon & Schuster in 1989 and has sold around 12 million copies word-wide.

Covey has a Harvard MBA and has spent most of his career at Brigham Young University, where he was professor of organisational behaviour and business management. In addition to his MBA, he also has a doctorate which he completed whilst at Brigham Young University. Dr. Stephen R Covey has received the Thomas More College Medallion for continuing service to humanity and has additionally been awarded four honorary doctorate degrees.

Stephen is also a co-founder of the Franklin-Covey organization, which specialises in the application of Covey’s principle-centred approach to leadership and management. He is widely acknowledged as one of the world’s leading authorities on the subject of time-management. Thousands of organizations across the world, including many of the Fortune 500 companies, have adopted his innovative techniques on leadership, teamwork, and customer-focused service. His best-selling book on time-management, First Things First, co-authored with A. Roger & Rebecca R. Merrill, according to Simon & Schuster is the best-selling time management book ever.

The seven principles he presents in the 7 Habits are not original thoughts – he does not claim to have originated the ideas but simply to have found a framework and a language for articulating the time-less principles embedded into the seven habits. The 7 habits are to be found, he says, in all the major world religions. He believes the principles themselves to be ‘self-evident’, that is, ‘you cannot really argue against them’. His view is that all highly effective people, and enduringly effective organizations, have utilised the 7 habits, to a greater or lesser extent, to sustain their success.

Covey says that the 7 habits are ‘common knowledge’ but, he adds, are not necessarily ‘common practice’. In fact, it could be argued that the habits actually run counter to basic human nature. By our nature, we are reactive creatures and we are inclined to act mainly out of self-interest. But we are also as human beings capable of much higher thoughts and actions and by working hard to internalize the 7 habits we are able to develop a proactive attitude. By so doing, we can take charge of our own destinies and we are capable of exerting influence on other people for the collective good.

Quotations
by Stephen Covey

Actually I did not invent the seven habits, they are universal principles and most of what I wrote about is just common sense. I am embarrassed when people talk about the Covey Habits, and dislike the idea of being some sort of guru.

Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.

Every human has four endowments self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.

I am personally convinced that one person can be a change catalyst, a “transformer” in any situation, any organization. Such an individual is yeast that can leaven an entire loaf. It requires vision, initiative, patience, respect, persistence, courage, and faith to be a transforming leader.

In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do.

Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.

Most people struggle with life balance simply because they haven’t paid the price to decide what is really important to them.

Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.

The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

There are three constants in life… change, choice and principles.

We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice.

We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.

Courtesy: http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/7-habits/stephen-covey.htm

Stephen R. Covey Announcement

Stephen R. Covey Announcement

I cannot live without deep appreciation for Dr. Stephen R. Covey and his team for his series of works based on ‘principle based leadership’ and paradigms. The idea of morality and its association with current modern trends like pure divinity. In this materialistic and greedy environment Dr. Covey is being proven a voice of righteous. He already said, rephrasing, he does not teach or create works and ideas but only God, he is just conveying it. Regards, Maratib