A child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life?

In today’s domains of management gurus, psychology experts and biologists scientists are choosing their preferences from very interesting discussion that how much important nature or nurture in the success of an individual or there is other reality as well? In addition, how much important is actually, the age of childhood in shaping one’s life.
I think this is very fundamental question comes in the mind. Many theories and interpretations have been discussed in academia and in leadership development training institutes.
Is it really genetic or environmental or psychic causes or there is another fact beyond it? Sometime people become so determinist and sometime optimistic. On the other hand God has sent down man to contribute and live to leave legacy, how much this believe is so powerful or thoughtful.
My Purpose is to explore to see different point of views and at the end we can find some comprehensive outcomes.

Nurture or Nature

Nurture or Nature

Last week, I put this discussion on Facebook and LinkedIn and asked many people and experts on different networks on internet. I found various responses and different perspective for this great quest.
Let me tell you first what question was asked.
Here It is:

Question: What are your thoughts on this:
Freudian psychology which postulates that whatever happens to you as a child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life. The limits and parameters of your life are set, and , basically , you can’t do much about it”.

( Extracted from book “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People” by Dr. Stephen R. Covey, p-69,1989)

I am sharing here those and some valuable opinions and answers of people which they shared with me on social networks. It will give us broader view from different minds about this very subject. I am copying them here as it and we will continue this discussion until we reach on greatest conclusion.

“I believe it’s true our up bringing does shape us but I also believe people can change their character & personality. I’m a living example my character changed! No one life goes without difficulty that they can’t blame. When people blame they give up their power to change”.

“There is shaping, but it isn’t set in stone. How you choose to respond to what was done in your youth and how you were shaped… your response is totally up to you. Some choose to respond with ” This is how I am.” Others choose to respond with “How can I overcome? How can I be more in spite of what was and currently is?” Mind is our servant and will work with whatever we give it. In the first choice, mind is given a command to continue affirming what is. In the second choice, mind is given a quest, command of transformation. Mind works to fulfill what we give”.

Robert responds to my question like this:

“What you say sounds good, and I believe choice plays a role shaping one’s life. As much as I respect the work of the late Stephen Covey, my experience informs me that many psychological problems and disorders related to childhood can’t be healed through choice. If I understand your response correctly the complex field of psychology can be reduced to one theory of choice?
Faced with many challenging executive coaching assignments over several decades has prompted me to forge collaborative working relationships with talented psychotherapists who are skilled at addressing the unconscious issues while my work stays on the organizational/conscious side of the boundary where I’m trained. In such cases the client is asked to grant permission for us to work as a team in support of shared outcomes”.

One posting from Leon says here:
Dear Maratib:
First of all Freud never said that the “The limits and parameters of your life are set, and , basically , you can’t do much about it”. That’s what psychoanalysis is all about, a way to deal with the things in your past to improve your present condition.
Now in regards to the choice factor, I agree with Robert. Human behavior is a very complex construct that can not be altered just by the simple exercise of personal choice, there are external and internal aspects that affect the process of changing ones life, for instance, paradigms, resources, knowledge, support systems, even protein intake. Now having said that, I do agree we can change our condition and improve it for good, as far as some of all the factors of this equation align to produce the desired change.
Finally, Dr. Covey (a founder of my Master’s Program) didn’t have it all right, or at least scientifically supported.

In light of above two responses of Leon and Robert I replied as:
Robert and Leon, What i have understood from you valuable thoughts that there are many complexities within brain, psychological and biological which cannot fit to the theory of power of choice as Dr. Stephen’s whole work’s philosophy originates i believe. right?
If so than my response would be:
I think that power of choice is relevant to those emerging individuals and minds who are living or want to live/grow/contribute in their personal and outer world. Weak or mentally ill or distorted childhood brain with physically damaged, cannot make choices because of their limitations and illness. They should consult with therapists, counselors and medical doctors. Because the whole idea of chose and success literature is for dynamic individual who are not depend on at least any major illness or such psychological complexities as you are mentioning.
To practice choices are functions and habits of leaders only.

some other responses are shown as below:

“i m supporter of frued psychoanalytical theory , because early experiences really play large role in personality development and continue to influence behavior later in life. But if we talk about change yes we change but it is purely an individual effort and very less of us could manage to do so”.

“Stays in subconscious for most part which does control majority of our unconscious behavior and habitual patterns and reactions. Once one becomes aware, and thru working with a coach like us, they can choose to change, transform, transmute, transcend and evolve negative thoughts beliefs patterns behavior and be best version of themselves as they allow it and take action towards it”.
Between stimulus & response there is space
“Stephen Covey wold disagree (and I could be wrong but he preferred Jung). He acknowledged that upbringing powerfully influences your character and personality but ultimately you, as a human, have the choice to do and be otherwise”.

“I don’k know how to represent either one of these two gentlemen, but from my own course of life I strongly disagree. I am much different than I was years ago, stronger, overcam many obstacles, and transformed my life several times through changing jbaits, coaching, etc. Unless THAT, too, was predetermined, which I very seriously doubt”.

I believe it does, but other things that happen later on do change people. Maturity and growth are a big factor. I know I had a habit from childhood, and it was associated with events and stress, I did feel powerless and I almost gave it to the feeling but no, I’m stronger than that come on, anyone can redesign what they believed in when they were young. Everyday we have choices and let’s hope we choose well. I needed and was a puppy that wanted to be loved by everyone, I learnt that not everyone loves you, and it’s better to change that really quickly otherwise one gets hurt. So to an extend, we are the way we are but let’s not accept all of it. Keep an open mind.

I believe it helps shape our character and personality but does not have to define us. We all have the ability to make choices in our lives and change the direction if we want to.

Interesting thought, but I cannot agree. We decide every day, with our options at hand, what kind of life we wish to create for ourselves. It’s the habits we develop, and the daily decisions we make taking into account the personal mission statement we have designed, that create the future we determine. I truly believe that life should be lived “looking forward”.

I agree with most, we make choices every day that decide our fate. I’ve seen a peer that had an unfortunate childhood become a veterinarian and another who had a great childhood end up working the 2nd shift in the light bulb factory. However, I believe it easier for some due to a more positive environment growing up. Thanks!

We as humans have learned to re-invent ourselves and manage our emotions. We can’t always control our hot button’s created during childhood, though we can manage how we react to them when pushed. This is habit 1.

“I’m a believer that we have choice. Once you see that the young you didn’t have the depth of awareness needed to split the event from your version of the event, you can reframe the past and therefor set your future”.

“Sorry i Disagree – it is your mindset that changes every thing around you. It is your attitude towards life that determines your altitude.
“If you think you can or you cannot – in both cases you are right”

 

“I believe that your personality is shaped when you are young and due to your upbringing you may be timid, shy, confident etc. But as an adult you have the choice and now the information to be able to change any character flaws that you developed in childhoods”.

“I believe that the experiences you have as a child play a big part in self defining tracks that play in my mind.
Habits and triggers are formed from repeated experiences which almost create a rut in your brain; when X happens to me, I turn right and take this path of reaction. It takes a lot of work to grab the wheel and choose to steer down a different path however it can be done.
The wonder of human existence is having free will and the ability to learn, grow and change. Alvin Toffler said “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn”. This quote was not meant to reflect human character and personality, however I still believe it applies. We can learn new ways to respond to stimuli and choose new ways to react.
Your childhood is where you start and none of them are idealistic. What you choose to do next is up to you”.

“Freud stimulated ideas from his stimulated thinking as he sought stimulation. The pleasure principle is instinctively and emotionally driven and is at the bedrock of human development. There seems to more that might govern one’s life than the areas Freud was concentrating on”.

“Maratib, to me Freud stood somehwere at the beginning of public Western opinions on psycology, meaning he started a discussion which had been neglected for thousend of years, in western cultures that is.
Thousends of years ago people already learned about human behavior and pretty more nuanced than Freud ever described it.
Yes as long as you are able to maintain your sense of innocence and creativity you evolve and enrich your self-and people knowledgde. And yes for most the first years are the most impressionable, assuming your creativity and sense of innocence slowly get depressed and replaced by rationals through “socialisation”and education.
Still once you reached some level of maturity your tend to go out and seek to get back to the state of mind and freedom you once had?
Are they therefore all set and not to be influenced? no way, to easy.
There are loads of cultural influences, preferences, personal competencies, genetic imprint and basic instinctive behaviors to consider.
I agree that whatever you experience early on during impressionable years will influence you and affect the way you percieve and experience life to be, yet not set it, certainly not that you cannot do anything about it.
I find that to be the poorest excuse, you might not be ale to completly change and do a 180 on certain topics and behaviors, but you can and should evolve if only to cope with the only constant being change itself.
have fun”.

“See my animation about eg Freud : http://youtu.be/H0PsxiioTDw

“Maratib, interesting question. As you mentioned, this has been a key Philosophical question for sometime. We have come to find out as time moves forward that many views presented as fact by well-known philosophers, have been dis-proven or modified to accommodate a better understanding of what is known to be true today. Earth is flat, Sun revolves around the Earth, Dark Matter and other moving targets. Events that happen to us as we grow up definitely influence who we are as individuals and as cultural societies. Typically, the individual is presented with the event and decides if they will react to that event. I do not subscribe to the believe that individuals can’t do much about how they allow it to influence them. It’s up to each of us to choose our own vehicle that takes us forward from that event to the next step in our lives. Some my select anger, others may choose compassion and some may select understanding”.

“For the most part, behavior is set by the age of six. No one knows the percentage contributed by genetics and by environment, but both matter. Can people change? Sure, but usually as a result of a significant emotional event (divorce, death of a loved one, etc). Otherwise, what you see at six is what you get at sixty. Are people prisoners to their behaviors? Yes, unless they use a model like DISC (or something similar) to learn the strengths and limitations of their behavior style. Once learned, salespeople can use their intelligence instead of their emotions (their “emotional intelligence”) to improve their interactions with their clients”.

“It is a bit short-sighted…throughout our life, different events, actions, choices, etc would bring rational or irrational fears in our lives; with which, we have to deal with, thus, we would get shaped (character, emotions, skills, thoughts,…). I see it as a never ending cycle until our last breath. Surely…childhood experiences strongly shape our future self, but indefinitely. Imagine, if someone gets bullied most of his/her childhood. How strong that individual must become to overcome its fears and come out as a better person!? Even more importantly, how long would it take to change one’s perception”?

“It has been a Long mind/thought War beetween Behavioural psicology and The traditional Freudian one. And more contributions have been added by Lacan and Eric Berne and some recent studies from Winnicot. It’ a fact our first 5-6 years personal events strongly influence our beliefs and way of thinking and living emotions; this do not automatically Mean the human being as to be An unmouldable set of cause-reaction mosaic. The innest “machine” in some Way work for ever in The same Way But it’ a possible effort to adapt and change the Way each single individual live everyday actions and emotions. Why can different individuals pass through the same disruptive events surviving Them or being injuried for all the Life Long? Here stand the great trasformation Power given to any human being to learn How to manage herself/himself starting by a Long and honest inside job. If you know the “Inner machine” working everyday in any of your action and thought you have a great power to influence and chance your life; in a different Way I would say as to be almost impossible or a lottery ticket Win !“.

“Hello Maratib, having spent two years studying the irrational, covert and unconscious side of organisational life at an esteemed psycholanalytic institute in NYC it is my opinion that our childhood experience (the subconscious as a tape recorder) plays a significant role in how we view and interact in the adult world. I also believe with the proper support we as human beings can grow beyond the “projected” beliefs and limitations (head trash) we “introjected” as defenseless child”.

In the light of above opinion, I personally believe that It is human choice to make him greater and different beyond past, race, colour, language, region and social setup. This is called dignity of human. You have power to choose your own response any time beyond genetic, environmental and biological reasons. Today, most of dynamic individuals have not even normal childhood but since they have choose to take control on their life, they are unique, star and role models for millions other. It is unique spiritual voice which anyone can be aware of and start to follow it, no matter, what kind of worse current or past circumstances are. Dr. Stephen’s principle of Personal Vision i.e. Be proactive, basically teaches that charge your life at any moment beyond any pressure and leave your legacy.

He put this fact in his famous book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness:

“We are a product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice, because there is always space between stimulus and response”.

Covey also points out it by saying that “I am what I am” and “I am where I am because I so choose to be there”

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Leadership and Management Trainings – an Effective Paradigm

Preface – Is the business leadership subject of Management or it is covering all roles of life of an individual. Are we enough able to develop engaged and committed employees? Or do we see ourselves as great carer or parent? Are we enough self-aware that we are directly or indirectly connected with our cultural and social roots and at the same time we are making significant contribution to our organisation, family, society and the world?

Great author Dr. Stephen R. Covey says;

“I don’t define leadership as becoming CEO. A CEO is no more likely to be a leader than anymore else. I am talking about leading own life, being a leader among your friends, being a leader in your own family”.

These are very important and contemporary questions for contemporary and demanding minds. We are missing definite certain principle based believes-set that would modify our Industrial mind to information or knowledge worker age and it would prepare us against those societal forces, out of which we can choose to respond. We are product our generation-to-generation transferred attitude or we have our own wisdom of freedom to do or meditate against historical standards. I am victim of this lifestyle or thinking pattern because my parents & my family have been nurturing with this environment or we have our own voice that can create great relationships and humanitarian events.

Leadership and management Trainings by Maratib Ali Shad

Leadership and Management Trainings by Maratib Ali Shad

Basically, leadership explain and provide us a new mind-set which provide us a unique paradigm of abundance mentality and freedom to choose our response. We need to cope all modern challenges of life, job, business and rapidly changing societal trends.

Dr. Stephen says,

“The problem of leadership today is that managers are still applying the Industrial Age control model to knowledge workers. They fail to tap into the highest motivations, talents, and genius of their people”.

Inspiring author and Leadership authority, Dr. Stephen R. Covey believes that every human is a unique combination of body, mind, heart and spirit. Each person on this earth has different needs of their living conditions, versatile talent of diverse taste, emotional attachments with natural and unlike things, roles and great voice of spiritual intelligence which guide the person throughout his life. This is so dynamic and great paradigm of human dignity.

Our almost every child and adult are studying in schools and university. But we need to think that did we provide them opportunities to learn effectively foundations of spiritual, moral, cultural and social needs. We have developed lot of engineering miracles and multi-million institutions but our students are lack of understanding of all human needs in reality. Our popular life style has born a generation where we read news; 66% Americans are either overweight or have obesity and similar data we have in other part of the world. Every person is under pressure of unwanted things. They are in pain but they have to live with it. We are building thousands of physical fitness gym, however, side by it, we have less number of leadership development institutions where we can develop such humans who can maintain their body fitness, learn to flourish, passion for excellence and live by conscience in every moment of life.

In this knowledge worker age, people are unable to keep balance in their different roles of life. For example, a productive employee could be very smart Manager to create multi-million dollars ideas to his organisation but that employee could not maintain great relation with their spouse. It could be a worse relationship setback!! They are not even proven caring parent or guardian. Likewise, business or technical professionals could have very unique mental approach for becoming successful entrepreneur or highly skilled worker but they are unable to understand their child’s needs. We need to build leaders to cope it. Dr. Stephen R. Covey said;

“When parents see their children’s problems as opportunities to build the relationship instead of as negative, burdensome irritations, it totally changes the nature of parent-child interaction. When a child comes to them with a problem, instead of thinking, “Oh, no! Not another problem!” their paradigm is, “Here is a great opportunity for me to really help my child and to invest in our leadership.”

This is indeed a great leadership paradigm.

Troubled life is also result of heedlessness of Time Management Principles, to do list is not sufficient and was an old method. Now this age demands new approach and new tool sets of keeping balance all tasks for all roles of life which we choose to plan and do proactive. Furthermore, we need to split our years and months into weeks and days, for all individual roles, based on urgencies and importance factor. Dr. Covey said, once;

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” (Leadership Paradigm)

A smart business one may have extra substantial possessions but he or she could lack of meaning of life. They are not able to know about purpose of their life and give the ultimate inner satisfaction for their daily works why they should do it. This philosophical approach of thinking is as vital as earning money or other important work. They may need to study sacred literature or have certain links which indoctrinate them for religious or spiritual faiths which can give them direction of life and accountability as they would need.

As “Accountability breeds response-ability.”

On the other hand, Leaders are also so rich people with certain mind-set who can keep balance in their life, you know why? Because they have found their voice of their personal and professional realms and now they inspire other to find their voices and it will inspires millions.

Hence, Professor Stephen R. Covey define Leadership as

“Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves.”

So leadership is real need of today whatever you have the role of your life.

Leaders tend to be trustworthiness along with their competencies. Professional competencies demands new skills, new tool set and unique paradigm under character groom itself.

Character building is a great challenge of today’s world. Failure as personal or professional roles is in result of character weaknesses and our schools and society have been failed to make a trustworthy person. It effect, often, the personal relationships especially with friends and spouses and also in business environment when Manager or CEO involve in affairs and corruption scandals.

“90 percent of all leadership failures are character failures”.

Basically, character is composition of integrity, maturity and abundance mentality whereas competence build through technical knowledge of certain field or industry, conceptual understanding of things and ideas and how to become interdependent to achieve business or work goals. When character meets with competency, wisdom born. Leader than live by wisdom, act under humility and do by courage.

Leaders believe in synergistic team work where 1+1 is not 2 but 11 or more. Where teams in factory unit, offices and homes earn fruits of synergy every moment. They reinforce strengths and ignore the weaknesses of each other. If people have conflicts at work, home and in politics, leaders transform the issues the 3rd alternative solution which is a higher way out of solution provided by each party. Like Dr. Stephen Said,

“Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy the mental, the emotional, the psychological difference between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it, but as they are.”

Today, most of employee are disengaged with organisational priorities. Involvement of employee can be make sure only by directly emotional attachment with core purpose of the project or organisation. Clearly communicated mission and its derived goals are indispensable for happier workers.

No involvement no commitment!

All principle-centred leaders believe in run their roles of life based on mission statement. Their personal mission are integrated with their professional job roles, family and relationships. Goals, weekly and daily tasks are their water under they live. They use modern technology for keeping their Time Management and priorities but do not indulge in it. They are self-manager and carry powerful life driven character oriented values like integrity, trust, humility, trust worthiness, dignity, optimism, synergy and stewardship. They lead their own life with interdependence style of amalgamation of Vision, Discipline, Passion and Conscience.

This world is turning into intense customer oriented. Every individual and organisation are somewhere are customers of each other. Therefore we need to build a mind-set where this customer oriented market can be satisfied and service must be essence of all passion and spirit.

Like Nathan Eldon said once, “Service is the rent we pay for living in this world of ours”.

Leaders have vision of deep thinking and philosophical foundation the way they perceive the world. They believe in people, watch dreams, have idealistic approach, aware of reality, really helpful for everyone and have capacity to think outside the box. Consequently, they are creative and mature enough to achieve their desired life.

Leaders maintain self-discipline because they believe in natural principles and see synergy everywhere in nature. They know that they need to focus on their mission and goals, constantly, independently through continues hard work and competent values with decisive nature. They executive in their business action plan with realistic and achievable approach.

Also, leaders are passionate about what they do, fearlessly. They are enough sensitive to accept every challenge of their life role, self-motivating and have immense courage to launch personal and business initiatives.

Keeping their vision, discipline and passion, leaders also need a lens through which they can accountable itself. They have great sense of right and wrong which burn them from their inside and they listen inner friend’s voice of their conscience, it always push or pull them in every moment of their life whenever they need of it. This little whispering is called conscience and govern all other three component of the whole-person i.e. physical, mental and emotional or social intelligences within a leader.

If an individual could really believe on these intelligences, along with whole roadmap to live on path of greatness, and find his own voice then it can discover a leader inside you, no matter what age level you are.

Dr. Stephen R. Covey says,

“We are a product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice”.

And that’s Leadership.

So we need to certain training programs that can build minds of our employees, parents, scientists and professionals who can cope and feel difference in this age of complexity and next age of wisdom. These trainings can have spirit to transformation the lives many individuals who can become source of inspiration of thousands of others and then this light spreads on.

Today multi-million industries and brand companies are investing billion pounds to educate on their employees development so that they can be engaged with purpose and operations of the organisation. Government and private organisations are focusing that how they can develop and transform minds of their workers to meet knowledge worker age economy needs and be cradle of inspiration for next business generation.

I believe that leadership developmental programs are voice of this age and is necessary part of every academia, on top. Individuals are getting blessed by virtue of this new mind-set and learn new skill-set to cope every challenge of new time.

Today, core academic discipline like Business Management has comprehended importance of education of Leadership development to graduates and professionals. Thousands of universities and colleges are announcing hundreds of courses, trainings, seminars and certifications for Leadership growth. Multinational organisation and cooperate world need diversity and vision in their management mentors and workforces to be succeeded their business master plans and financial goals. They are in great need of certain mind-set which can renovate their management into truly and dynamic business leaders.

I have shown you a very quick view of importance of leadership development in business, personal and social roles. There are many other dimensions as awakening calls for Managers and emerging individuals who can train themselves with change of successful paradigm that is need of today and we must need to abolish old successful way of thinking pattern because remember;

“ Nothing fails like success”.

Trainings based on leadership improvement packages and individual effectiveness are in fact fundamental function of today business and innovative world. Emerging enterprises and social organisations need networking and transparency in actions of which they want to achieve their collective dreams. Employees of the organisation want to work in healthy environment where they can fulfil their needs of personal and family economics, learn new skills and unleash their potential, emotionally connected with cause of the organisation with synergistic spirit and with definite accountable inner which whisper them either they are doing right and wrong.

“You cannot change the fruit without changing the root”.

Leadership and Management Trainings – an Effective Paradigm – By Maratib Ali Shad – London

Paradigms are so powerful for change – Lets work it.

I often think about different behaviors of people in identical situations and I could never understand until I went through Human behavioral lessons from Prof. Stephen R. Covey. Basically, all people do behave in SEE-DO-GET pattern, it means what people get depend on what they do and what they do depends on how they see the world. That very ‘see’ describes people mental images inside mind covered by brain and are called ‘Paradigms’, intentionally, I discover causes of people

Paradigms are so powerful to change, title image.

Paradigms are so powerful to change, title image.

doing different things in same situations. Every individual behaves and think because of their paradigms, what the meanings this person has defined in their mind. Usually, paradigms are build from childhood and throughout the conscious life. Greater the degree of maturity inside the brain of a person to understand the events and people behaviors, mature and reality based paradigms will be. I am not teaching you psychology lessons but only general understanding which will help you reshape your personal and professional life if you are looking for any turn or solution or break through. People perform actions(play roles) at home , office and in society, all depends on what and which thinking patterns they have in their minds within which they associate good or bad meanings and it all makes their personality. For example, if a newly hired employee could have meanings in the mind about supervisor as typical ‘Boss’ who orders and never listen ‘No’ from subordinates, then it might make employee insecure and suppressed. Because of past bad experiences or negative images about a ‘boss’ usually come from media or society throughout life, hence this thinking pattern will always stay walls between boss and that very employee.  These walls can never be laid down unless employees start to work on their paradigms. In same manner, when supervisors treat their employees as machines and never allow to think and use their own initiative will and give freedom to them, Boss has also wrong paradigms about their assistants or secretaries or subordinates. Because higher position holders in an organization may think that what employee are nothing just ‘a body to follow, obey and act’. It’s very traditional attitude and belongs to earlier Industrial mind-set. So a typical wall, between not only boss and employee but also all people, would become bigger and distant. Dr. Stephen R. Covey says in his book The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness:

“If you want to make minor, incremental changes and improvements, work on practices, behavior or attitude. But if you want to make significant, quantum improvement, work on paradigms.”

In perspective of teachings of Dr. Stephen R. Covey, this current information or knowledge worker age have brought the new set of paradigms and tool-sets to get real success.  Because the old pattern of thinking has been replaced with new paradigms. earlier, a boss used to perceive any change in work or function as ‘problem’ but a leadership-style of paradigm does not see any change as the problem but only ‘opportunities’ to exercise creative energy and solution of many other unseen problems.

Throughout the history of mankind’s technology and ideas, old technological things and ideas were always replaced by new meanings and interpretations of phenomenal of events, things, and people. New knowledge(s) and sciences are emerging just because of change of thinking(s), perceptions and paradigms.

Einstein once told:

“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

Childhood experiences, misguidance, immaturity, and illiteracy are among main causes to have weak, unclear and wrong paradigms. We need to understand what we have experience in our personal and professional life, are just our own experience(s) which may be wrongly perceived and misconceived. Anyways, people still rely on their very thoughts. They do not even try to measure and evaluate it. People think that their ideas and definitions about people, things and events are very right and ‘do not try to disturb it’, excuse me! They assume it as their superiority over others. The culture of ego and arrogance may be active. Now question is that how people can know about the correctness of their paradigms. It is so difficult for people to identify and work on it, due to many mental and societal forces. However, I believe if people start to believe in ‘power of principles and natural laws’; that is the whole universe is governed by certain principles and laws and never things can happen beyond it, afterward people will try to guide their spirit and mind accurately, I believe. For example, to get money and material things are the real source of satisfaction and an individual’s social needs, are very common paradigms of people and they associate their happiness with it. But on the other hand, if we evaluate this notion of the principle of love and real meanings of life than this assumption of getting materials seems very weak and immature. Because true love and great ever-lasting inner satisfaction can only be achieved with unconditional love and attainment of material for the spirit of contribution and virtues only.

In multicultural places, people fight over racial and linguistics issues, and these are also mental images which they have about each other. Black man looks at the white man with prejudice because a black man may perceive them as arrogant. In opposite, a white man considers a black man as dirty, ill-mannered and ill-literate. When this attitude is multiplied by many people, community conflicts occur and so on. Similarly, an English man, sometimes, does not respect a Dutch because of ‘Nazis’ and German blame English because of their imperial colonialist approach and it goes on. I think that all world’s issues of differences get worse because of flaws in paradigms which they have associated with each other. It is true that all white, and black skin colors are not mattered of superiority but their strengths. Similarly, languages should not be the source of superiority but only their unique means of communication. I strongly believe that educator and researcher need to publish stuff for their nation in formally and informally about those wrong attitudes which transfer generation to generation is the result of inheriting paradigms.

People who drive their lives with positive thinking do construct their mental images with principles, systematic academic research, studies and reviewing sacred literature. We observe a number of people have the vision, passionate, disciplined in their physical life and with the conscience have always been proved quality thoughts and creative actions because there they have now sense to think and work accordingly and they have also the power to do against social mirrors. It is their constructed paradigms who fuel them enough to reject the path of mediocrity. Whereas principle based rightly guided paradigms leads leaders to the path of greatness. It is need of age. We need to self-determined our paradigms and throw away all prejudices and uncorrected patterns of thinking, the reason why a man is not the product of past, any racial agenda or genetic disease.

 

Stephen R. Covey Announcement

Stephen R. Covey Announcement

I cannot live without deep appreciation for Dr. Stephen R. Covey and his team for his series of works based on ‘principle based leadership’ and paradigms. The idea of morality and its association with current modern trends like pure divinity. In this materialistic and greedy environment Dr. Covey is being proven a voice of righteous. He already said, rephrasing, he does not teach or create works and ideas but only God, he is just conveying it. Regards, Maratib

Professionalism is an attitude, for all roles of life

Many people live not as successful because they have divided life into misaligned different paradigms for personal life, family, office and social work or community. They believe that each of four have different things, settings and aspects of life so behaviors associated should be unlike and smartly. People assume that all roles of life have different descriptions and deals of tackling with different principles. These all are not entirely interconnected and covering different stories of an individual’s life. For example, General Manager Adam quarrels himself because he is unable to manage himself and even Adam does not understand these four roles of life. Adam is being proven very controlling and dis-empowering manager and behaves reactively with his sub-ordinance, in the office. Personally, Adam has weak body, rough communication, distracted mental intelligence and poor spirit of life. Adam has no vision neither personal goals nor mission of life. Being a Manager his severe and hostile behavior is not acceptable for his sub-ordinances and even for his colleagues because of his unprofessional and unethical approach. It is all because of that he has misconception, to always try to be clever with colleague(s), tricky with Senior(s) and believe on Win-Lose or Lose-Lose. On the contrary, Adam has very soft tone and caring behavior towards his family and children. He believes on ‘Think Win-Win’ and passionate family life. No one in his family can believe that he is so unpopular in the office. Now when someone talks with Adam about something for social volunteer or religious works, Adam stops with half No and half yes. In real, Adam does not believe on social contribution and welfare work also. Adam probably is enough backward, to have awareness on importance of social works, without being paid. Because of fault in thinking of Adam, he has divided his sincerity and insincerity into four roles personal, office, family and religious or social life, separately.

Story of Adam is actually chronicle of many people of this information knowledge worker age. The very problem is lack of ‘professionalism is whole life’. Professionalism is not just association with your work. It is an attitude of your whole life and roles that is: personal, office, family and social work or community. An individual should not split personality into four or even more parts with different attitudes. Emerge all four roles with same and uniform attitude. For this, you need to work on paradigms of things, people, life and the world. The meanings and vision which a person has associated with things, people, roles and different settings, are actually the very problems. Like Adam, who was dealing with four roles with different attitude that’s why he lives a mediocre and victim life. Actually, Adam had wrong paradigms. Adam had associated wrong meanings with different roles, things and people that are why he collapsed, although he had very good family life, which was not enough to make him also successful in the office or working with social community or even personal management.  Suddenly, a paradigm shift occurred in life of the Adam and his life took U-turn. In next few days, Adam started to manage and understood personal issues and designed goals to resolve issues. Professionally, Adam behaves, now, proactively and with empathy with his juniors. He likes to work as team member and helpful with colleagues. His Seniors appreciate his new innovative ideas. Social contribution has become his passion of life and now Adam has joined and leading as volunteering campaigner for fundraising for a moral cause. Adam found his voice.

Why all this change happened, just because of changing his attitude towards life. Since, he has found his voice; Adam has actually treated all roles of his life equally and with uniform attitude which is voice of professionalism. He has applied this concept of professionalism in all roles. Family, community, personal management and office, all four have is converted into professional.  Adam has designed his work, family, personal and community goals as well. His unique spirit and soul has been built on concept of professionalism. For him, professionalism is something to achieving great in all life, by using energies and intelligence(s) of body, mind, heart and spirit.

Like Adam everyone should adopt uniform, unique and one proactive attitude in the life. Our whole life is one attitude, not distorted collection of different disintegrated believes, eyes and moods. I do believe that by working of personal management you can manage other as many roles of your life. Personal management can only heal your stress of life because thoughts of a person define outlook of his or her about roles, relations, things, events and world. This understanding in further generates different behavior and attitude differently, unless you have clear and universal understanding of life, concepts, things and people.  Seriously, successful people live uniquely, calculated life and with scheduled approach, not only in job career but also with spouse and kids, friends, key persons and social people.

Professional development is an essential part of office and business life today. All companies and organization are offering their employee the trainings, courses and workshops on this subject. Organizations are spending handsome amount of monies on affording best trainers and coaches. New and fastest growing industry to teach Leadership and personality development are also growing. I know these sorts of trainings are really productivity and also provide forum to understand, share and learn new concepts, trends and innovation. My job career stay of five years in LUMS University really proved to be metaphor, enhancing my professional growth which later influenced my personal, family and religious life. I never try to separate my office life from my family or community life, because I believe firmly that ‘what is professional is very personal for me’. I always try to adopt unchanged attitude with LUMS colleagues, friends, spouse, family and religious and social fellows. This secret is now very open in today’s world also and everyone who wants to live and achieve great life in real terms, is the following principle of uniform and organized life with broad and unique perspectives, not following social mirrors.

Professionalism is also the subject of leadership today. In offices and social life we see many diverse minds having enlarged visions are proved to be leaders unless they follow a specific and essential discipline in the life. Leaders cannot translate their vision into reality unless they do show professionalism. Their character is fruits of ideal attitude for each role of their lives.

Professionalism actually gives security for whole life covering all roles with goals and ambitions. Non-professional people are hardly seeing to accomplish goals of life; never have they designed goals, ironically. I have also interaction with many people in my life which have designed their goals and want to do something good but due to lack of vision of discipline and professional approach, they get fail.

Professionalism is an art to deal all roles of our life. This art is so necessary that I strong recommend including this subject of ‘Professionalism’ as compulsory component of all types of education everywhere in the world. It should teach everywhere because this age of indispensable is also an age of passion of services. Passion of giving services cannot be shown heartedly unless you do it by heart. Sectors like education, hospitality, local town governments, retailers, hospitality, super-markets, public organizations and religious groups all give services to public.  Nathan Eldon Tanner put it in this way: “Service is the rent we pay for living in this world of ours”.

Professionalism also gives standard to your body, mind, heart and spirit. Your body should be slim, smart, healthy, composition of positive energy, quick and active, in such a way your body always ready to move on your initiative(s) which is obviously in result of choices you make everyday and every moment of your proactive life. Anything which make one’s body lethargic, sluggish and sources of negative energies, in way of reactive move. Your professional approach will be boosted when you learn books, audio and video stuff and involve yourself to study in related to your field. The best way to enhance your mental intelligence is to put yourself in academia. Engage yourself and learn and apply just. Earn certificate and degrees side by side your job, but with understanding and applying of the contents. Your heart should produce emotional connection with your body and mind in such a way that you influence other people. All social skills, ‘The 7 Habits’ taught by Dr. Stephen R. Covey will be a vital victory in your life including family life. At last your voice of conscience and spirit should be regular feed you like a way you keep yourself stick with your goals, mission and diary management all the time, spiritually. This holy power will be fueled by reading sacred literature, stories and wisdom and it will be proven a driving and most mighty guide to keep you on path of professionalism.

I recommend you to learn habits of ‘be Proactive’, ‘Begin with the end in mind’ and ‘put first thing first’ taught by Dr. Stephen R. Covey in his best book ‘The 7 habits of Highly Effective People’. These three habits will able you to win yourself by yourself and are also called ‘Private Victories’ and Dr. Covey says ‘Private Victories precedes Public Victories’. I also suggest buying a diary and after brain storming of defining roles of life, goals and mission of your whole life, putting timeline each of goals and follow-up regularly. Do act now. Achieve something great as husband, wife, colleague, parent, student, CEO and member of the society by following same attitude with universal paradigms, professionalism and diary management. This is something which makes you very human and unique effective individual. I believe influential organizations, groups and people do believe on broadening perspective of professionalism. They expect from every of his employee to live life with unique and world-class professionalism.

Good Man Bad Man

Many people in the world are realizing the edge of free will given by God over nature of determinism. I feel that this insightful fight of free will and fate continue in every person. Feelings of free will allow a person to go ahead in life with positive and proactive attitude and while feelings of all-things-already-done drag of path of mediocrity and passive. Majority of sluggish people secure their powerlessness from religious believes which really are in error. God has sent down man for a cause and with power of initiatives and freedom of choices which means he or she always can be have state of acceptance or rejection of acts or feelings beyond their moods and traditions. Victim of determinism will do nothing or very less even after getting all resources and taught success ways. They perform gossips as art and satisfy their minds on baseless and low-level arguments. Victims of passive and negativity minds are ego-full and with low trust. His heart dissipates negative feelings and grudge-mate. He follows social mirrors and his vision replaces always feelings to be victim. He is enough slow and sluggish to make any promise and commitment or short term goal. He has never vision or discipline. His ego never allows rejoining broken relations. He feels lonely and tries to get nice feelings from wrong and bad things. He is victim of appetites and lust. He never compromises and always believe on win-lose or lose-lose. He is on path of mediocrity and failure and unsuccessful person. He does not behave like leader. God does not happy with him.

On the other hand, a positive person is very proactive. Proactive person does not depend on conditions. His or her success lies on power of choices and freedom of response. Proactive man does people on spiritual and divinity with right path around concepts. He finds himself in mission oriented and purposeful life. He believes that God has sent him with certain rank and as His-Vice. Proactive person knows that all things are known by God and that is his fate. Yet he does not know what God knows so he does according to right path and uses active and initiative nature. Positive thoughts and go ahead are his slogans usually. His heart feels very love and compassionate. His ego replaces with conscious and feels high trust. His body, mind, spirit and heart are in-line. He commands them. His righteous nature makes him a happy person. He proves to be a successful employee or businessman. He keeps creative energy and empathizing nature with everyone. He works under circle of influence and not circle of concern. He dissipates his negative energy into positive. He believes in positive synergy and the 3rd alternative. His mission and organized life allows him to achieve all goals. He does always believe on win-win situation. He has very empathizing nature. He is enough effective and influential to his circle of people. His heart gets passionate and body gets discipline. He forgives other and ignores bad responses. He is very effective and really successful man. He behaves like servant-leader. God is very happy with him.

One of tragic difference between bad man and good man is that for bad man all is bad or at least suspicious; internal and external worlds, his own-self and also good people, but Good Man sees even bad man as good man, his own-self and all worlds are with purpose and meaningful. I see state of heart is based on state of mind, body and soul and if anyone is faulty then heart starts to feel all things faulty. On contrary if heart generate compassionate feelings based on his body, mind and soul then all is well.

Bad man is bad man because he or she has not discovered himself/ herself yet. He or She is unable to identified his or her natural voice and unfortunately believe on artificial or biased voices. Since bad man has equal great competencies and values but due to lack of knowledge and low-confidence he or she are lost. Whereas Good man recognizes and finds all of his or her natural voices and act accordingly with set goals and mission, no matter what conditions and culture they have around. Because of his high-smartness of acknowledgement of his or her voice they are called good.

Simply, you decide which type of individual you want to become now?

First publish on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150483113108658

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