A child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life?

In today’s domains of management gurus, psychology experts and biologists scientists are choosing their preferences from very interesting discussion that how much important nature or nurture in the success of an individual or there is other reality as well? In addition, how much important is actually, the age of childhood in shaping one’s life.
I think this is very fundamental question comes in the mind. Many theories and interpretations have been discussed in academia and in leadership development training institutes.
Is it really genetic or environmental or psychic causes or there is another fact beyond it? Sometime people become so determinist and sometime optimistic. On the other hand God has sent down man to contribute and live to leave legacy, how much this believe is so powerful or thoughtful.
My Purpose is to explore to see different point of views and at the end we can find some comprehensive outcomes.

Nurture or Nature

Nurture or Nature

Last week, I put this discussion on Facebook and LinkedIn and asked many people and experts on different networks on internet. I found various responses and different perspective for this great quest.
Let me tell you first what question was asked.
Here It is:

Question: What are your thoughts on this:
Freudian psychology which postulates that whatever happens to you as a child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life. The limits and parameters of your life are set, and , basically , you can’t do much about it”.

( Extracted from book “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People” by Dr. Stephen R. Covey, p-69,1989)

I am sharing here those and some valuable opinions and answers of people which they shared with me on social networks. It will give us broader view from different minds about this very subject. I am copying them here as it and we will continue this discussion until we reach on greatest conclusion.

“I believe it’s true our up bringing does shape us but I also believe people can change their character & personality. I’m a living example my character changed! No one life goes without difficulty that they can’t blame. When people blame they give up their power to change”.

“There is shaping, but it isn’t set in stone. How you choose to respond to what was done in your youth and how you were shaped… your response is totally up to you. Some choose to respond with ” This is how I am.” Others choose to respond with “How can I overcome? How can I be more in spite of what was and currently is?” Mind is our servant and will work with whatever we give it. In the first choice, mind is given a command to continue affirming what is. In the second choice, mind is given a quest, command of transformation. Mind works to fulfill what we give”.

Robert responds to my question like this:

“What you say sounds good, and I believe choice plays a role shaping one’s life. As much as I respect the work of the late Stephen Covey, my experience informs me that many psychological problems and disorders related to childhood can’t be healed through choice. If I understand your response correctly the complex field of psychology can be reduced to one theory of choice?
Faced with many challenging executive coaching assignments over several decades has prompted me to forge collaborative working relationships with talented psychotherapists who are skilled at addressing the unconscious issues while my work stays on the organizational/conscious side of the boundary where I’m trained. In such cases the client is asked to grant permission for us to work as a team in support of shared outcomes”.

One posting from Leon says here:
Dear Maratib:
First of all Freud never said that the “The limits and parameters of your life are set, and , basically , you can’t do much about it”. That’s what psychoanalysis is all about, a way to deal with the things in your past to improve your present condition.
Now in regards to the choice factor, I agree with Robert. Human behavior is a very complex construct that can not be altered just by the simple exercise of personal choice, there are external and internal aspects that affect the process of changing ones life, for instance, paradigms, resources, knowledge, support systems, even protein intake. Now having said that, I do agree we can change our condition and improve it for good, as far as some of all the factors of this equation align to produce the desired change.
Finally, Dr. Covey (a founder of my Master’s Program) didn’t have it all right, or at least scientifically supported.

In light of above two responses of Leon and Robert I replied as:
Robert and Leon, What i have understood from you valuable thoughts that there are many complexities within brain, psychological and biological which cannot fit to the theory of power of choice as Dr. Stephen’s whole work’s philosophy originates i believe. right?
If so than my response would be:
I think that power of choice is relevant to those emerging individuals and minds who are living or want to live/grow/contribute in their personal and outer world. Weak or mentally ill or distorted childhood brain with physically damaged, cannot make choices because of their limitations and illness. They should consult with therapists, counselors and medical doctors. Because the whole idea of chose and success literature is for dynamic individual who are not depend on at least any major illness or such psychological complexities as you are mentioning.
To practice choices are functions and habits of leaders only.

some other responses are shown as below:

“i m supporter of frued psychoanalytical theory , because early experiences really play large role in personality development and continue to influence behavior later in life. But if we talk about change yes we change but it is purely an individual effort and very less of us could manage to do so”.

“Stays in subconscious for most part which does control majority of our unconscious behavior and habitual patterns and reactions. Once one becomes aware, and thru working with a coach like us, they can choose to change, transform, transmute, transcend and evolve negative thoughts beliefs patterns behavior and be best version of themselves as they allow it and take action towards it”.
Between stimulus & response there is space
“Stephen Covey wold disagree (and I could be wrong but he preferred Jung). He acknowledged that upbringing powerfully influences your character and personality but ultimately you, as a human, have the choice to do and be otherwise”.

“I don’k know how to represent either one of these two gentlemen, but from my own course of life I strongly disagree. I am much different than I was years ago, stronger, overcam many obstacles, and transformed my life several times through changing jbaits, coaching, etc. Unless THAT, too, was predetermined, which I very seriously doubt”.

I believe it does, but other things that happen later on do change people. Maturity and growth are a big factor. I know I had a habit from childhood, and it was associated with events and stress, I did feel powerless and I almost gave it to the feeling but no, I’m stronger than that come on, anyone can redesign what they believed in when they were young. Everyday we have choices and let’s hope we choose well. I needed and was a puppy that wanted to be loved by everyone, I learnt that not everyone loves you, and it’s better to change that really quickly otherwise one gets hurt. So to an extend, we are the way we are but let’s not accept all of it. Keep an open mind.

I believe it helps shape our character and personality but does not have to define us. We all have the ability to make choices in our lives and change the direction if we want to.

Interesting thought, but I cannot agree. We decide every day, with our options at hand, what kind of life we wish to create for ourselves. It’s the habits we develop, and the daily decisions we make taking into account the personal mission statement we have designed, that create the future we determine. I truly believe that life should be lived “looking forward”.

I agree with most, we make choices every day that decide our fate. I’ve seen a peer that had an unfortunate childhood become a veterinarian and another who had a great childhood end up working the 2nd shift in the light bulb factory. However, I believe it easier for some due to a more positive environment growing up. Thanks!

We as humans have learned to re-invent ourselves and manage our emotions. We can’t always control our hot button’s created during childhood, though we can manage how we react to them when pushed. This is habit 1.

“I’m a believer that we have choice. Once you see that the young you didn’t have the depth of awareness needed to split the event from your version of the event, you can reframe the past and therefor set your future”.

“Sorry i Disagree – it is your mindset that changes every thing around you. It is your attitude towards life that determines your altitude.
“If you think you can or you cannot – in both cases you are right”

 

“I believe that your personality is shaped when you are young and due to your upbringing you may be timid, shy, confident etc. But as an adult you have the choice and now the information to be able to change any character flaws that you developed in childhoods”.

“I believe that the experiences you have as a child play a big part in self defining tracks that play in my mind.
Habits and triggers are formed from repeated experiences which almost create a rut in your brain; when X happens to me, I turn right and take this path of reaction. It takes a lot of work to grab the wheel and choose to steer down a different path however it can be done.
The wonder of human existence is having free will and the ability to learn, grow and change. Alvin Toffler said “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn”. This quote was not meant to reflect human character and personality, however I still believe it applies. We can learn new ways to respond to stimuli and choose new ways to react.
Your childhood is where you start and none of them are idealistic. What you choose to do next is up to you”.

“Freud stimulated ideas from his stimulated thinking as he sought stimulation. The pleasure principle is instinctively and emotionally driven and is at the bedrock of human development. There seems to more that might govern one’s life than the areas Freud was concentrating on”.

“Maratib, to me Freud stood somehwere at the beginning of public Western opinions on psycology, meaning he started a discussion which had been neglected for thousend of years, in western cultures that is.
Thousends of years ago people already learned about human behavior and pretty more nuanced than Freud ever described it.
Yes as long as you are able to maintain your sense of innocence and creativity you evolve and enrich your self-and people knowledgde. And yes for most the first years are the most impressionable, assuming your creativity and sense of innocence slowly get depressed and replaced by rationals through “socialisation”and education.
Still once you reached some level of maturity your tend to go out and seek to get back to the state of mind and freedom you once had?
Are they therefore all set and not to be influenced? no way, to easy.
There are loads of cultural influences, preferences, personal competencies, genetic imprint and basic instinctive behaviors to consider.
I agree that whatever you experience early on during impressionable years will influence you and affect the way you percieve and experience life to be, yet not set it, certainly not that you cannot do anything about it.
I find that to be the poorest excuse, you might not be ale to completly change and do a 180 on certain topics and behaviors, but you can and should evolve if only to cope with the only constant being change itself.
have fun”.

“See my animation about eg Freud : http://youtu.be/H0PsxiioTDw

“Maratib, interesting question. As you mentioned, this has been a key Philosophical question for sometime. We have come to find out as time moves forward that many views presented as fact by well-known philosophers, have been dis-proven or modified to accommodate a better understanding of what is known to be true today. Earth is flat, Sun revolves around the Earth, Dark Matter and other moving targets. Events that happen to us as we grow up definitely influence who we are as individuals and as cultural societies. Typically, the individual is presented with the event and decides if they will react to that event. I do not subscribe to the believe that individuals can’t do much about how they allow it to influence them. It’s up to each of us to choose our own vehicle that takes us forward from that event to the next step in our lives. Some my select anger, others may choose compassion and some may select understanding”.

“For the most part, behavior is set by the age of six. No one knows the percentage contributed by genetics and by environment, but both matter. Can people change? Sure, but usually as a result of a significant emotional event (divorce, death of a loved one, etc). Otherwise, what you see at six is what you get at sixty. Are people prisoners to their behaviors? Yes, unless they use a model like DISC (or something similar) to learn the strengths and limitations of their behavior style. Once learned, salespeople can use their intelligence instead of their emotions (their “emotional intelligence”) to improve their interactions with their clients”.

“It is a bit short-sighted…throughout our life, different events, actions, choices, etc would bring rational or irrational fears in our lives; with which, we have to deal with, thus, we would get shaped (character, emotions, skills, thoughts,…). I see it as a never ending cycle until our last breath. Surely…childhood experiences strongly shape our future self, but indefinitely. Imagine, if someone gets bullied most of his/her childhood. How strong that individual must become to overcome its fears and come out as a better person!? Even more importantly, how long would it take to change one’s perception”?

“It has been a Long mind/thought War beetween Behavioural psicology and The traditional Freudian one. And more contributions have been added by Lacan and Eric Berne and some recent studies from Winnicot. It’ a fact our first 5-6 years personal events strongly influence our beliefs and way of thinking and living emotions; this do not automatically Mean the human being as to be An unmouldable set of cause-reaction mosaic. The innest “machine” in some Way work for ever in The same Way But it’ a possible effort to adapt and change the Way each single individual live everyday actions and emotions. Why can different individuals pass through the same disruptive events surviving Them or being injuried for all the Life Long? Here stand the great trasformation Power given to any human being to learn How to manage herself/himself starting by a Long and honest inside job. If you know the “Inner machine” working everyday in any of your action and thought you have a great power to influence and chance your life; in a different Way I would say as to be almost impossible or a lottery ticket Win !“.

“Hello Maratib, having spent two years studying the irrational, covert and unconscious side of organisational life at an esteemed psycholanalytic institute in NYC it is my opinion that our childhood experience (the subconscious as a tape recorder) plays a significant role in how we view and interact in the adult world. I also believe with the proper support we as human beings can grow beyond the “projected” beliefs and limitations (head trash) we “introjected” as defenseless child”.

In the light of above opinion, I personally believe that It is human choice to make him greater and different beyond past, race, colour, language, region and social setup. This is called dignity of human. You have power to choose your own response any time beyond genetic, environmental and biological reasons. Today, most of dynamic individuals have not even normal childhood but since they have choose to take control on their life, they are unique, star and role models for millions other. It is unique spiritual voice which anyone can be aware of and start to follow it, no matter, what kind of worse current or past circumstances are. Dr. Stephen’s principle of Personal Vision i.e. Be proactive, basically teaches that charge your life at any moment beyond any pressure and leave your legacy.

He put this fact in his famous book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness:

“We are a product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice, because there is always space between stimulus and response”.

Covey also points out it by saying that “I am what I am” and “I am where I am because I so choose to be there”

Boss must go – Industrial Leadership Style

I am wondering to search those companies, production units, offices and factories where people are working under traditional or industrial mind approach. Generations have leg
behind The Agricultural Age and The Hunter/Gatherer Age long time ago. However, Industrial age mindset is still influenced to the global workforce.

Let me define you quickly what is Industrial age mindset is:

Industrial mindset is a formal working system to run working people and machines together under rules, efficiency & controlling trigger hold by an authority called Boss/Director/Manager.

It gives you vision to use people instead of machines and manage machines instead of people. Workers can be considered as your machines to take orders to have production or give services. Employees should not have courage to comment on any mechanism on the procedures and layout of the department. Everything is fixed. They are not allowed to use their own methods to get desired results. They do what they are told, not to participate in any development and policy matter.

This chronic problem under industrial system is to make The Boss always happy. Every worker has to get Boss blessings to go head in their everyday job responsibilities or career growth. Such Boss or leader can fire any employee anytime and that leader does make all decisions because he knows best of all. Best performance of worker or employee is calculated based on Manager’s personal likeness, not with any assessment criteria.

I am Boss

I am Boss

Production or service delivery capacity is not customer oriented under such environment. Today, where business market is extremely customer oriented, under industrial mind policy structure, it is not primarily or even secondarily priority of the company. Sales or Service provider staff and marketing departments are full of incompetent people with very casual and traditional approach. Customers are their greedy focus for selling products and earn money just, not for serving people and the society with mission or contribution.

One of greatest tragedy of industrial working system that you will not have any access to the resources to know more, in fact there is not space of any resources in the system. Information is blocked here, sorry. You do not need to know anything else except you are told or you observe here. If it is really necessary to find new solution or way, just butter to Boss and try to flatter him until he permit to allow you to say what feel. If this new productive idea increase Boss’s power over the system, it is okay to discuss, otherwise absolutely NOT.

Low Trust is the fundamental spirit of this system because of egoistic or authoritative environment. Since, everybody is not working to strengthen the system rather to say YES BOSS, communication within worker is not trustable. Employees, either, will backbite to each other because they are not raised as team members. Employees seek to know weaknesses of other to exploit them. This low-trust does lie all the time because everything is secretive and everyone does work under No-Shared-Vision or No-Shared-Values. Their conscience is dead or at least sleeping. Everybody is victim as they pull each other legs. Political games and hidden agendas are in practice.

Organisational structurewise such companies have no or weak Human Resource policies & procedures, In fact there is no such organised HR department or section, can not be imagined. Employees in their clerical and administrative offices are recruited not based on qualification, backgrounds and talents but on references and without merit. Yes, such companies, in huge proportion, exit, everywhere, even in this age of media freedom, skills & talent and informational world.

Like machines, people are considered to produce or work more with high-efficiency because they will be following unchangeable bunch of rules set by Boss. They control people like machines. Psychological approach of this Boss is to fulfill very basic need of employee and ignore other needs such as emotional or social, mental and spiritual. Controlling people is their clever art and they are proud of it. They consider institutions and companies like their personal possession. In this situation, there is no concept of formal office meetings because everything is pre-prescribed and already decided. No meeting is needed.

Only motivation for employees to do their jobs is to get their weekly or monthly wages and nothing, more important is that they are on the job, at least for them and their family survival as they can see high percentage of unemployment in the city. This system plays with needs of survival and financial security of the workers and their families. Hence, neither they leave system not system leave them. On other way tricky BOSS or MANAGER  has firmly believe on JACK-ASS THEORY under which you adopt policy of “Carrot and Stick”, you give carrot and then stick to work , carrot and then stick to work and it goes on.

This misaligned system at workplace leads to inter-departmenal rivalry due to ambiguous vision of job position or about goals of the roles. BOSS  or MANAGER  does not acknowledge your talent or skills. That Manager does seem bad Coach and she disempowers employees. Manager has set fix rules and work procedures and you have to follow these rule if you want to sustain in this system. Employees become bore from their jobs and now they want to escape because they are angry and have a lot of fears. Any emerging people working under this system does lose their focus and confidence on their professional goals and become part of miserable life. Resign is the only hope to way out.

Because this system is based on straitjacket potential, it is developed with managing machines and using minds, there will be big gaps between operational procedures within departments. All are misaligned. One set rule will be contradicted with other in similar situations. You can see clear hypocrisies within people because they are codependent, workers know weak points of other.

Directors and Managers with narrow minds do not believe on trainings and professional development. They never convinced to invest money to provide training to develop employees for competencies, increasing productivity and learning new things. They have misconception that human mind cannot change. They think that they do not need to waste money and time to empower staff and workers. They see the world as They see themselves i.e. unchangeable.

It is misconception of such industrial Leaders that by controlling machines and people at workplace they would design a system where you can generate a lot of production and wealth that increase financial profits. In real, it is not for power or discipline of the system but for higher management who make monies and their personal bank accounts. If we visit most of production houses, factories and such companies, we can see the huge difference between personal social status of the final decision makers and workers. In contrast with economic and social conditions of those employees who work even 10-12 hours per day like machines without entertainment and freedom. In England, in 2013, there is minimum wage of £6.31 per hour for adult over 21 or above. HR and Customs revenues website shows that workers are also entitled to the minimum wage if they are:

  •     part-time
  •     casual labourers, eg someone hired for 1 day
  •     agency workers
  •     workers and home workers paid by the number of items they make
  •     apprentices
  •     trainees, workers on probation
  •     disabled workers
  •     agricultural workers
  •     foreign workers
  •     seafarers
  •     offshore workers

Government has implement policies but many Directors of thousands of companies deceive the government and auditors secretly. They do not allocate any residential, travel or holiday allowances for their employees. They do bad at their best.

Boss empire

Boss empire

Psychological and physical state of these workers and employes are lethargic, anti-social and aggressive. Their personal and family life also get disturbed and in traumas. They need to way-out to their situations and workplaces. They want to contribute for their personal, professional, organisational and societal life. They need new mindset working with different and updated minds and culture. There is good news! Informational or Knowledge age has brought many blessings to the offices and the world itself, given greater contentment and job satisfaction, rich and diverse culture. God has broadened the vision of world Business leaders and human mind to form an Informational or knowledge based worker economy that is growing fastly and being adopted by many emerging organisations. Leadership development for organisations and whole-person paradigm is the subject of today’s world. Hundreds of authors, business gurus, experts and organisations are contributing to fixing wounds of industrial age. Actually, Information or knowledge worker age is opposite of Industrial Age. Industrial age has been broken down on its knee and should not part of this global economy and people lives. We need to make lot of struggle by raising voice and awareness. New system is providing path by empower needs of body, mind, heart and spirit of an individual and also as organisational level.

If you want to share your story where you are working or have experienced this mindset and system, you can share with me on Maratib@MaratibAliShad.com

Arthur W. Jones put it in this way:

All organisations are perfectly aligned to get the results they get.

Identify key Roles and Relationships of Life

Once you build your Personal Mission Statement, you are set on path of greatness and now depend how much you are stuck with it and live by it.

Next step after development mission statement, you need to identify key and important people and functions in your life.

Remember that balance life is key of successful life. We need to keep balance in all roles. It is also greatest challenge of modern world. Management Guru Stephen R. Covey says:

“Many people seem to think that success in one area can compensate for failure in other areas. But can it really? True effectiveness requires balance”.

Do you have idea how you can know about vital people and contribution of your life? Just think!!

Let me tell you now.

Referring to previous exercise of celebrating 80th birthday and you had imagined those people around you, are really important relations. After thinking those people you can now imagine key areas of your life and that each area will be key role of your life.

For example, on 80th birthday people would be children, spouse, colleagues, community workers etc. Suppose Sarah and Adam are two supposed individuals who are keen to change their life and do something extra ordinary.

Roles of Life

Roles of Life

now their roles will be:

1. Adam as Husband

or Sarah as Wife

2. Adam as Father

or Sarah as Mother

3.  Adam as Director

or Sarah as Assistant

4. Adam as community worker

or Sarah as Designer

5. Adam as sportsman

or Sarah as sport lady

6. Adam/Sarah as Student

7. Adam/Sarah as Friend

so on.

Usually, you can choose 5-7 key roles, around which your life should be circulating with.

However, in my opinion above mention roles are very traditional and look ordinary. Ideally ordinary. is not?

This step will make each role very special in your life.

For example, if you have identifying husband or wife, you can give new title As Caring partner.

Let’s try to give new and extra-ordinary titles to above supposed roles:

1. Adam as Hubby (Husband)

Sarah as best friend ( Wife)

2. Adam as DAD (Father)

or Sarah as Mom (Mother)

3. Adam as Catalyst for Change (Director)

or Sarah as great department supporter ( Assistant)

4. Adam as great humanistic leader (community worker)

or Sarah as creative art lover (designer)

5. Adam as super sportsman (Footballer)

or Sarah as fitness expert (sports lady)

6. Adam/Sarah as keen Learner (student)

7. Adam/Sarah as Empathic listener (Friend)

Congratulation! you have learn how to develop key roles of your life.

Remember, that all these role(s) and people should be in your imagination when you would celebrate your 80th birthday and also these roles may also be involved in your personal mission statement. ideally your mission statement should have indicated your roles of life.

You can also interpret these roles and can write your own definitions because it is your life. you can ask several question to yourself and write their answer on your diary.

Q1.  What is this role meaning in the life?

Q2. Why this role is important for me?

You must have unique roles as your life is unique. In this world you are really different person and you need to define your role(s).

Awesome!

Now you will be have more control on your life and will also resolve the problem like work-Life balance.

If you are facing difficulty in assigning different roles of your life. You can fill out the following quick form and I will try to answer you as soon as possible.

In next article, I will discuss with you about goal settings of your life which is very crucial for your life. Please be remembered this article and video demonstration are part of series of “How to live by Effective Time Management Principles”.

Personal Mission Statement, Let’s build

People and business professionals are struggling to maintain their all daily to-do list, tasks, emails and correspondences related to personal, family, Team, clients, community, projects, staff and associates. of course everyone is following some of time management formulas.  which are not really source of their contentment. Effective Time Management is one of greatest challenges of today’s world where everybody is extremely busy to meet daily, weekly and monthly need of time but they are not really happy and at the end of day, they show as lethargic and with low motivation for their next day.

 

 

It means that majority of people living today is without purpose of life that’s why they are not excited for their tomorrow.

But good news is that we can meet this challenge with most effective time management principle.

Before telling you Effective Time Management skills for 100% fulfilling promise for every need, work and role of your life you need to build your own life and very personal Mission Statement. This is one of the greatest step of a leader’s life. You are the own leader of your life. You need to prove it.

Personal Mission Statmetn

Personal Mission statement

To think and write mission statement is one of fundamental personal initiative of any successful individual. Here I am not going to tell you write mission statement for your family, team and organisation but only for your very personal and secret life.

Personal mission statement is your life constitution which will drive you in entire course of your life successfully and with greatest satisfaction and contentment. It will make you master of your life. Because you have decided to create and design your own life course with own wishes, thoughts and priorities.

Personal mission statement belongs to your spiritual intelligence and give your really purpose and meaning of your life for your ultimately gratification.

Dr. Stephen R. Covey says:

All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.

Are you read to build and write it? hmmm?

Let’s go.

Right from the beginning, please buy or arrange your personal calendar diary from any local store (in case if you do not have), also arrange pen and notepad for draft and rough notes.

Make sure that you are sitting now in very peaceful environment and this moment is that best time when your energy of the day is maximum. Some people feel very pleasant at Dawn or in early in the morning, or sitting in the garden or library. This session should take couple of hours of your life but very important because you are going to create your own destiny and you have decided that you are going to live your own life rather than becoming cultural software and product of circumstances. is it?

Now, put on side every thing and close your eyes and imagine you are celebrating your 80th birthday and every important person in your life is around you. They are praising you. These people could be your children, grandchildren, spouse, colleagues, brothers, sisters, friends, relatives, business associates, neighbours, students and community or religious bodies. Imagine now, you are sharing milestones of your life with them. You are sharing your life achievements, your worthy experiences, conclusions, principles, values under you lived by, your successful journey and quality of thoughts and life.

Similarly, in further imagine on the same day, all people around you, are praising you and acknowledging your character, competencies and your life achievements and they are saying that you have been….. like this ….and this……., throughout your life ….and you were…. and are….. and will be as ….. (write here what do you wish to say about your on that day and write it…)

and now open your eyes and write the following three questions:

Question 1: What are list of achievements, goals, experiences, values, executed-plans and milestone you would be sharing with all people around you on that day?

Question 2: What do you want to listen from people around you? what should they be saying about you on that very day?

Question 3: What legacy do you want to leg-behind to the people after your life?

Question 4: What values you would be live by throughout in your life (from now to onward)?

Well-done! you are set on the journey to create your dream life.

Now next step are to think about couple of aspect of your important life and also write the answers of following questions:

Question 5: Identify one or two persons who have impact on your thoughts and life positively? How did that person(s) have influenced your life, in what aspects what values you took from this person and why you admire him most?

Appreciated!

You need now to review what you have written on your notepad. You can circle, key ideas and key people within these question.

One important thing that mission statement could by half of page, few solid lines, more pages, a poem and an inspirational text or manifestation script or else. Its your own life you can choose in your own way. Hurrah!

Remember, this statement is like a seed of your life which will turn into powerful mature tree with fruits.

This is a rough draft of your personal mission statement which is not final yet. Now spend more quality time next few days with this draft until week finish and you continue to work on it. This brainstorming is extremely important. You can add or delete some points, key people, roles, achievements as you need. After few days you will see you do not need to add or delete anything more.

That is your Final mission statement. Congratulation!!!!

Happy and complete life through personal mission statement

Happy and complete life through personal mission statement

Amazing thing you created in your life!!! Awesome

Now you can transfer this statement to your personal and secret diary and you can also note it digitally.

What if you want to change it later, after few weeks or months?

Don’t worry, you can change it anytime. Because change means growth. Because successful life is very dynamic and many new things, roles and challenges come you can add or remove later.

Ideally, you can review it after ever month and you many ask yourself that is that mission statement is truly representing myself what I am going with and what I want to achieve and live by eventually?

If you heart solid answer YES from your inside and then there should be time of celebration!

This is personal mission statement of your life and live by it and inspire others.

Be remember that power of this mission statement depend on how you are sincere and give it quality time and you work on it.

After this I will be discussing with you how we can derive roles of our life and then goals of life in next steps.

Note: Please note that article is in connection with the series ” How to live by effective Time Management Principles”.

If you need any help to build your personal life mission statement and have any question. You can discuss with me and fill the following short form. I will contact you as son.

Thanks

Leadership and Management Trainings – an Effective Paradigm

Preface – Is the business leadership subject of Management or it is covering all roles of life of an individual. Are we enough able to develop engaged and committed employees? Or do we see ourselves as great carer or parent? Are we enough self-aware that we are directly or indirectly connected with our cultural and social roots and at the same time we are making significant contribution to our organisation, family, society and the world?

Great author Dr. Stephen R. Covey says;

“I don’t define leadership as becoming CEO. A CEO is no more likely to be a leader than anymore else. I am talking about leading own life, being a leader among your friends, being a leader in your own family”.

These are very important and contemporary questions for contemporary and demanding minds. We are missing definite certain principle based believes-set that would modify our Industrial mind to information or knowledge worker age and it would prepare us against those societal forces, out of which we can choose to respond. We are product our generation-to-generation transferred attitude or we have our own wisdom of freedom to do or meditate against historical standards. I am victim of this lifestyle or thinking pattern because my parents & my family have been nurturing with this environment or we have our own voice that can create great relationships and humanitarian events.

Leadership and management Trainings by Maratib Ali Shad

Leadership and Management Trainings by Maratib Ali Shad

Basically, leadership explain and provide us a new mind-set which provide us a unique paradigm of abundance mentality and freedom to choose our response. We need to cope all modern challenges of life, job, business and rapidly changing societal trends.

Dr. Stephen says,

“The problem of leadership today is that managers are still applying the Industrial Age control model to knowledge workers. They fail to tap into the highest motivations, talents, and genius of their people”.

Inspiring author and Leadership authority, Dr. Stephen R. Covey believes that every human is a unique combination of body, mind, heart and spirit. Each person on this earth has different needs of their living conditions, versatile talent of diverse taste, emotional attachments with natural and unlike things, roles and great voice of spiritual intelligence which guide the person throughout his life. This is so dynamic and great paradigm of human dignity.

Our almost every child and adult are studying in schools and university. But we need to think that did we provide them opportunities to learn effectively foundations of spiritual, moral, cultural and social needs. We have developed lot of engineering miracles and multi-million institutions but our students are lack of understanding of all human needs in reality. Our popular life style has born a generation where we read news; 66% Americans are either overweight or have obesity and similar data we have in other part of the world. Every person is under pressure of unwanted things. They are in pain but they have to live with it. We are building thousands of physical fitness gym, however, side by it, we have less number of leadership development institutions where we can develop such humans who can maintain their body fitness, learn to flourish, passion for excellence and live by conscience in every moment of life.

In this knowledge worker age, people are unable to keep balance in their different roles of life. For example, a productive employee could be very smart Manager to create multi-million dollars ideas to his organisation but that employee could not maintain great relation with their spouse. It could be a worse relationship setback!! They are not even proven caring parent or guardian. Likewise, business or technical professionals could have very unique mental approach for becoming successful entrepreneur or highly skilled worker but they are unable to understand their child’s needs. We need to build leaders to cope it. Dr. Stephen R. Covey said;

“When parents see their children’s problems as opportunities to build the relationship instead of as negative, burdensome irritations, it totally changes the nature of parent-child interaction. When a child comes to them with a problem, instead of thinking, “Oh, no! Not another problem!” their paradigm is, “Here is a great opportunity for me to really help my child and to invest in our leadership.”

This is indeed a great leadership paradigm.

Troubled life is also result of heedlessness of Time Management Principles, to do list is not sufficient and was an old method. Now this age demands new approach and new tool sets of keeping balance all tasks for all roles of life which we choose to plan and do proactive. Furthermore, we need to split our years and months into weeks and days, for all individual roles, based on urgencies and importance factor. Dr. Covey said, once;

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” (Leadership Paradigm)

A smart business one may have extra substantial possessions but he or she could lack of meaning of life. They are not able to know about purpose of their life and give the ultimate inner satisfaction for their daily works why they should do it. This philosophical approach of thinking is as vital as earning money or other important work. They may need to study sacred literature or have certain links which indoctrinate them for religious or spiritual faiths which can give them direction of life and accountability as they would need.

As “Accountability breeds response-ability.”

On the other hand, Leaders are also so rich people with certain mind-set who can keep balance in their life, you know why? Because they have found their voice of their personal and professional realms and now they inspire other to find their voices and it will inspires millions.

Hence, Professor Stephen R. Covey define Leadership as

“Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves.”

So leadership is real need of today whatever you have the role of your life.

Leaders tend to be trustworthiness along with their competencies. Professional competencies demands new skills, new tool set and unique paradigm under character groom itself.

Character building is a great challenge of today’s world. Failure as personal or professional roles is in result of character weaknesses and our schools and society have been failed to make a trustworthy person. It effect, often, the personal relationships especially with friends and spouses and also in business environment when Manager or CEO involve in affairs and corruption scandals.

“90 percent of all leadership failures are character failures”.

Basically, character is composition of integrity, maturity and abundance mentality whereas competence build through technical knowledge of certain field or industry, conceptual understanding of things and ideas and how to become interdependent to achieve business or work goals. When character meets with competency, wisdom born. Leader than live by wisdom, act under humility and do by courage.

Leaders believe in synergistic team work where 1+1 is not 2 but 11 or more. Where teams in factory unit, offices and homes earn fruits of synergy every moment. They reinforce strengths and ignore the weaknesses of each other. If people have conflicts at work, home and in politics, leaders transform the issues the 3rd alternative solution which is a higher way out of solution provided by each party. Like Dr. Stephen Said,

“Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy the mental, the emotional, the psychological difference between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it, but as they are.”

Today, most of employee are disengaged with organisational priorities. Involvement of employee can be make sure only by directly emotional attachment with core purpose of the project or organisation. Clearly communicated mission and its derived goals are indispensable for happier workers.

No involvement no commitment!

All principle-centred leaders believe in run their roles of life based on mission statement. Their personal mission are integrated with their professional job roles, family and relationships. Goals, weekly and daily tasks are their water under they live. They use modern technology for keeping their Time Management and priorities but do not indulge in it. They are self-manager and carry powerful life driven character oriented values like integrity, trust, humility, trust worthiness, dignity, optimism, synergy and stewardship. They lead their own life with interdependence style of amalgamation of Vision, Discipline, Passion and Conscience.

This world is turning into intense customer oriented. Every individual and organisation are somewhere are customers of each other. Therefore we need to build a mind-set where this customer oriented market can be satisfied and service must be essence of all passion and spirit.

Like Nathan Eldon said once, “Service is the rent we pay for living in this world of ours”.

Leaders have vision of deep thinking and philosophical foundation the way they perceive the world. They believe in people, watch dreams, have idealistic approach, aware of reality, really helpful for everyone and have capacity to think outside the box. Consequently, they are creative and mature enough to achieve their desired life.

Leaders maintain self-discipline because they believe in natural principles and see synergy everywhere in nature. They know that they need to focus on their mission and goals, constantly, independently through continues hard work and competent values with decisive nature. They executive in their business action plan with realistic and achievable approach.

Also, leaders are passionate about what they do, fearlessly. They are enough sensitive to accept every challenge of their life role, self-motivating and have immense courage to launch personal and business initiatives.

Keeping their vision, discipline and passion, leaders also need a lens through which they can accountable itself. They have great sense of right and wrong which burn them from their inside and they listen inner friend’s voice of their conscience, it always push or pull them in every moment of their life whenever they need of it. This little whispering is called conscience and govern all other three component of the whole-person i.e. physical, mental and emotional or social intelligences within a leader.

If an individual could really believe on these intelligences, along with whole roadmap to live on path of greatness, and find his own voice then it can discover a leader inside you, no matter what age level you are.

Dr. Stephen R. Covey says,

“We are a product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice”.

And that’s Leadership.

So we need to certain training programs that can build minds of our employees, parents, scientists and professionals who can cope and feel difference in this age of complexity and next age of wisdom. These trainings can have spirit to transformation the lives many individuals who can become source of inspiration of thousands of others and then this light spreads on.

Today multi-million industries and brand companies are investing billion pounds to educate on their employees development so that they can be engaged with purpose and operations of the organisation. Government and private organisations are focusing that how they can develop and transform minds of their workers to meet knowledge worker age economy needs and be cradle of inspiration for next business generation.

I believe that leadership developmental programs are voice of this age and is necessary part of every academia, on top. Individuals are getting blessed by virtue of this new mind-set and learn new skill-set to cope every challenge of new time.

Today, core academic discipline like Business Management has comprehended importance of education of Leadership development to graduates and professionals. Thousands of universities and colleges are announcing hundreds of courses, trainings, seminars and certifications for Leadership growth. Multinational organisation and cooperate world need diversity and vision in their management mentors and workforces to be succeeded their business master plans and financial goals. They are in great need of certain mind-set which can renovate their management into truly and dynamic business leaders.

I have shown you a very quick view of importance of leadership development in business, personal and social roles. There are many other dimensions as awakening calls for Managers and emerging individuals who can train themselves with change of successful paradigm that is need of today and we must need to abolish old successful way of thinking pattern because remember;

“ Nothing fails like success”.

Trainings based on leadership improvement packages and individual effectiveness are in fact fundamental function of today business and innovative world. Emerging enterprises and social organisations need networking and transparency in actions of which they want to achieve their collective dreams. Employees of the organisation want to work in healthy environment where they can fulfil their needs of personal and family economics, learn new skills and unleash their potential, emotionally connected with cause of the organisation with synergistic spirit and with definite accountable inner which whisper them either they are doing right and wrong.

“You cannot change the fruit without changing the root”.

Leadership and Management Trainings – an Effective Paradigm – By Maratib Ali Shad – London

Nurturing and Childhood experiences

Childhood experiences starts right from mother’s wombs. Environmental, psychological, social and sentimental effects on mother directly transfer to the baby and store in genes or unopened- memory spaces of mind.

A child rapidly absorbs surroundings till 3-4 years of age. These all negative or positive stored-emotions COME OUT OR EXPRESS in form of good or bad behaviour, later, in any stage of man or woman’s life, usually 20-40 years.

Studies also shows that professional failure or success or any life conscious decisions are also influenced (badly or good) by those childhood unconscious experiences.

Therefore, nurturing and childhood even before delivery, is extremely important for children and hence for whole family and then society.

childhood is so important

Leadership Message for Parents

Dear All,

I am looking for possibilities to stimulate parents to be aware of leadership concepts and its need. Many parents have intellectual limitation and they do not know neither understand importance of principle based training and everyday life living. Parents often use traditional and old methods to either control their children or become over sensitive and confused in this so rapidly changing world where technology is ruling over morals.
Leadership is a paradigm which can inculcate into children through sequential development, complete human intelligences of body, mind, heart and spirit along with believe on natural or moral laws of God and power of choice. Leadership is a moral position and can bring a child in realization to be Leader and that child can cope in every circumstance and such children can choose countless possibilities in different realities of life. It enables to unleash their potential which God has given them and true leadership values protect children from path of unhappiness and straitjacket.

I am looking for works of awareness and guidance for such parents or teachers who can educate children accordingly. I am looking for same interest people who can share and do something great in this awareness.

Please join me!

Thanks
Maratib